Express & Star

Peter Rhodes on safe missiles, scary cattle grids and why you shouldn't call old people sweet

A charity called the Centre for Ageing Better has launched a campaign against “belittling” language which stereotypes old people. The banned list includes “having a senior moment,” “you look good for your age” and “I'm too old for this.” Describing an old person as “sweet” or “kind” is also a no-no.

Our safe nuclear deterrent

Now, this may strike you as worthwhile, or it may strike you as a patronising waste of time and energy. But what astonished me was the money behind it. The Centre for Ageing Better is funded from the National Lottery Community Fund to the tune of £50 million. I can't help thinking that if there's £50 million sloshing around in the Lotto pot to support old crocks like me, there are many better ways to spend it than unleashing the thought police against those who consider me sweet.

Strange choice of words as the Ministry of Defence tried to make us feel more positive about a Trident missile plopping into the sea a few yards from the Royal Navy submarine that test-fired it. Attributing this cock-up to “an anomaly,” an MoD spokesperson insisted that Trident “remains safe, secure and effective.”