“What will men be wearing in the 2020s?” asks one national newspaper. Thin on top, perhaps?
Yet another parcel goes missing on its way to Chateau Rhodes. I complain to the supplier who responds by trying to seem concerned and helpful while being neither. He writes: “Could we please ask for you to confirm your delivery address so we can ensure we have the correct address details?”. The small print below says: “We don't check replies sent to this email.”
The hysteria over Harry and Meghan “stepping back” continues. Before getting too emotional, try the infallible me-me-me test. This involves asking yourself the simple question: in what possible way will this development affect my daily life one iota? The answer is that it won't. The Windsors have no more impact on us than any other long-running soap opera.
What a vile regime Iran is. What a shocking, shameful disregard it has for human life. It shoots its own citizens on the streets and encourages its cronies in Iraq to do the same, with hundreds now dead. Iran imprisons innocent women as “spies.” It plans endless attacks on American and Allied forces in the region. It shoots down an airliner, killing 176 people and then denies responsibility for three days. Iran cannot even organise a state funeral without crushing to death 50 of its own people. It is a vicious, uncaring, chaotic and despotic regime – and it wants a nuclear programme. Guess which British politician addressed a rally at the weekend and tried to compare America's targeted assassination of one bloody-handed enemy warlord with Iran's slaughter of 176 innocent airline passengers. A clue - he had to leave his allotment to be there.
Iran is a country of fine young people hideously misruled by bad old men. One day the young Iranians will take power and they will know who their friends are. Allotment Man will not be one of them.
A senior police officer in West Mercia declares war on speeding drivers but admits “we have yet to win over the court of public opinion with regards to the speed and harm caused by speeding motorists.” No surprises there. The public knows full well that speeding has become a nice little earner. Millions of speeding motorists are sent on awareness courses which have grown into a £200 million-a-year business. We are not all fans of this blatant commercialisation of English law.
Then there's the curious fact that police speed traps are deliberately set up in “hot spots.” A reader was on a course where most of the drivers had been caught in the same place in a 30mph limit on the same morning. All of them were under the impression that it was a 40mph limit. In other words, if the road signs had been clearer, none of them would have been nicked. The court of public opinion is not only unconvinced but deeply suspicious.