Mark Andrews on Saturday: A policeman's lot is not an appy one and why Boyan is better than Greta

Britons are now more than twice as likely to die from drug abuse than they are in a road accident, says police chief Andy Cooke. Sensibly, he calls for a tough crackdown on all drug abuse, including possession of cannabis.

I suspect his views will not go unchallenged, though. As sure as night follows day, somebody will say that the figures are proof that the 'war on drugs' is not working, and that drug abuse should be treated as a 'public health issue'.

Which is all very well. But you never hear them calling for an end to the 'war on speeding', do you?

Meanwhile, a leaked report reveals that crime victims may in future be encouraged to report 'minor' offences, such as burglary, on a mobile phone app.

Police chiefs say it will make it quicker and simpler to report crime, but they also admit it could reduce demands on time by encouraging people to take pictures and upload evidence.

There are a few reasons why we should be concerned about this. Firstly, it will create a two-tier service between those who are able to use smartphone technology, and those, particularly the elderly, who aren't. Or those like me with a five-year-old Nokia that doesn't have the memory to cope with all these apps.

Secondly, how long before it is used for data-harvesting, where burglary victims are targeted by friendly security consultants?

More importantly, it will mean officers spending more time behind computer screens, and less interacting with real people.

And if the police don't have time to deal with burglaries, maybe somebody should have a word about the officers in Bristol who spent Friday last week chauffeuring Greta Thunberg about in an electric car.

Greta, incidentally, says she will 'not be silenced', which is fair enough. I have no desire to see her silenced, I just don't think supposedly responsible adults should be using taxpayers money to hand her a megaphone.

Besides, if we want to laud a young environmental champion, a better role model is surely Boyan Slat.

Boyan who? Well, like Greta, Boyan became concerned about the environment as a teenager. But instead of bunking off school, he knuckled down to his studies and developed the world's first system to rid the oceans of plastic. Now 25, he heads an international organisation devoted to cleaning up the world's seas, and says technology is the most powerful tool in solving environmental problems.

It speaks volumes about the world today that the girl who is rude to adults and skives off school becomes a global superstar, while the lad who actually does something is virtually unknown.

First the good news. Satirical puppet show Spitting Image is back on television after a 24-year absence, and boy how we need somebody to prick the pomposity of today's 'woke' establishment. And the bad news? It is being released exclusively on the streaming service Britbox, which means hardly anybody will actually see it.