Mark Andrews on Saturday: Subways, sandwiches, and social media tips for Wags

YOU really can’t please some people. Wolverhampton Council, in partnership with Wolves, has drawn up plans to improve the approach to Molineux, getting rid of the squalid subway which has long been a magnet for nefarious behaviour.

Some Wolves fans are not happy, describing the underpass as ‘part of the fabric of a Wolves matchday’ with one even describing it as ‘iconic’. Look, I know everything’s ‘iconic’ these days, but a grotty subway is stretching things a bit.

Another fan said it was ‘part of our history’. Well given that it runs under the fourth section of the ring road, which was built in 1970, we’re hardly delving very deep into the past are we?

Now I’m all for preserving heritage, and appreciate that tradition is an important part of football experience. Like many Villa fans, I was saddened by the demolition of Archibald Leitch’s 1924 redbrick stand at Villa Park, with its stained glass windows, Italian mosaics and Dutch gables. I can understand why Wolves fans mourned the passing of the old Fox pub, which for a century had been a popular matchday meeting place. But a 1970s subway? Do me a favour.

STAYING with the Beautiful Game, it looks like handbags at dawn between footballers’ wives Coleen Rooney and Rebekah Vardy after the former accused the latter of leaking her Instagram posts to the tabloids.

Mrs Rooney went all Miss Marple after stories she published on social media appeared in a newspaper, flushing out the miscreant by blocking everyone apart from Mrs Vardy from seeing her posts. Mrs Vardy hit back, likening conversation with Mrs Rooney to ‘like arguing with a pigeon.’

Which is probably much more articulate than the stereotypical footballer’s wife.

Frankly, it is beyond comprehension why anything either of these ladies say would be of interest to anybody. Let’s face it, who would have heard of either were it not for who they were married to?

It is, though, symptomatic of a public ignorance about how social media works. Coleen, nobody has ‘leaked’ anything. If you put information on social media, you are sharing it with the public, and can hardly complain if it ends up in the newspaper. The clue’s in the name: social media.

Want to keep it private? There’s a simple technique which has never been known to fail. Leave your phone in your pocket.

DAME Sally Davies’s call for a ban on eating on public transport sums up the disconnection between a gilded public sector elite and people who live in the real world.

I’m sure the outgoing Chief Medical Officer has never found the need to eat on public transport, in the same way that chief constables always allow enough time for every journey without breaking a speed limit.

I doubt Dame Sally has spent many days rushing from job to job without a break, or she might realise that snatching a sandwich on the bus or train is the only time many people get to eat.

And who is going to enforce it? Presumably an army of sandwich wardens, complete with stupid uniforms and hand-held computers, dishing out fines to passengers sneaking a sly handful of dry-roasted from their coat pocket. Can’t wait.