Leeford Village episode 115: Merger? Surely not.
Catch up with the latest episode of the online serial by authors Michael Braccia and Jon Markes.


Previously in Leeford Village: Jack Simmons wants to know if he is a character in Jason’s novel. George and Jack are the first to sample the delights of Zack and Simon’s ‘Coffee Cart’. Allen sacks Zack due to a ‘conflict of interest’ at the market. Agnes is in a quandary – does she tell Adam about Daniel Windrush? Adam shocks her by declaring that he and Meredith might announce their engagement at Cody’s birthday party. Linda and Sherry discuss the possibility of Carlos living with them - alongside Allen.
~
‘Why meet in a country pub? Don’t you want anyone in Banfield or Leeford to see us?’
Frank Watson scans his friend’s face for a reaction. Colin Simpson has been a clerk at Banfield Council for over twenty years. He has seen elected councillors and executive officers come and go – sometimes unwilling to go – and nothing much passes him by. Colin’s hesitation tells Frank that this is a clandestine meeting. The excitement of appearing in a John Le Carre novel eludes the experienced councillor, but he is somewhat amused by Colin’s nervousness.
‘Come on, Colin, we’ve known each other long enough to be sure we can trust each other. Is this about the census?’
‘Yes, Frank. I convinced myself that you needed to know.’
‘Is it dodgy? I thought we’d got rid of one corrupt council leader. I was hoping that James Lindale was as straight as a die. So far, I’ve felt that I could trust him.’
‘I wouldn’t say “dodgy” – as such,’ says Colin.
‘As such? That says a lot.’
Frank taps the table.
‘Come on, Colin. Tell me everything.’
~
‘Coffee, Edward?’
‘Yes, thank you, Ethel.’
Ethel finds herself holding her breath as she turns to the sink to fill the kettle. Edward has asked her if she can forget Billy and she has admitted that she can’t. Billy will always be with her. For now, she is more concerned with their strained relationship and it seems that the ‘ghost’ incident has been the catalyst.
‘Why are you doing this, Edward?’
‘What?’
‘Sleeping on the sofa. It’s killing your back, isn’t it?’
‘I’m sorry to say, Ethel, but you are killing this relationship.’
She places his cup on the table, next to the mobile phone that has beeped an annoying three times in as many minutes.
‘Aren’t you going to answer that? It might be important.’
‘The messages can wait,’ says Edward.
Ethel draws breath and glares at him.
‘It might be your illustrator.’
‘You said you’d never bring that up again,’ he responds.
With tears rolling down her face, Ethel takes a step back and leans against the sink.
‘You’ve hurt me, Edward. Billy would never have done this to me. He would understand that I still hold someone close to my heart – even if they are in the past.’
‘What are you saying?’
‘Go back to your illustrator, or should I say your ex-wife?’
Edward puts both hands on his head and stares at his phone.
‘Now who’s being hurtful.’
He rises from his chair, red in the face.
‘Ethel, do you want me to go?’
‘I think it’s for the best.’
‘I’ll pack an overnight bag. I’ll call you when I get back to Devon to arrange for my things to be moved. I am sorry, but we can’t get past this, can we?’
‘I’m sorry too, Edward, but we’re finished.’
~
Adam crosses the road from Leeford Plaice, heading for the card shop. Another two hours and he’ll be back in North Banfield with Meredith. There are many things that Adam doesn’t know. He has no idea that he is about to inherit a villa in Spain, he doesn’t know that the father who brought him up is not actually his father, and Meredith has not yet let him into her big secret. If and when they get married, she will have to declare her previous names. ‘Why did you change your name from Meredith Evans?’ is the question she might expect from Adam Thornton, who could easily have been Adam Windrush.
Adam stops outside the card shop. Pondering the conversation with his mother, he thinks I asked her something “about you, me and another party”. He turns to go back to the chip shop. As he crosses the road, he sees Agnes standing in the doorway watching him. He approaches the steps leading to the front door. His mother opens the door. She is crying.
‘Come in, love. We have to talk.’
As they go through into the sitting room, Adam asks, ‘where’s Dad?’
This brings Agnes up short.
‘He’s… he’s at the wholesalers.’
‘Mom, what’s wrong?’
She sits on the edge of the sofa and she cries like a damn has burst.
‘Mom, what is it? Please tell me!’
‘Oh, darling, where do I start?’
‘Give me the headlines.’
Agnes pauses. She would like to break it to him gently if that is possible.
‘You’re going to inherit a villa in Spain.’
‘What? How?’
‘An old lady has died, and has left it to you in her will.’
He turns to Agnes and takes her hand.
‘This isn’t a joke, is it?’
Her silence acts as confirmation.
‘Well, who is – was – this lady?’
‘The mother of our local pharmacist, Daniel Windrush.’
‘What’s his mother got to do with me?’
‘Oh, Adam, this is awful. So awful.’
‘Mom, just tell me!’
This time she looks him straight in the eye.
‘Daniel Windrush is your father.’
~
Jason puts on his best ‘author face’. It’s a similar group of friends that has agreed to listen to the next instalment of Longford Village. Cody shouldn’t be there. He’s told Agnes that he has ‘gone to the wholesalers’. At least he no longer appears to have the longing (or the opportunity) to spend time in the card and gift shop. The presence of his firstborn has finally put paid to that. Not that the lovely Meredith had ever knowingly encouraged the chip shop proprietor.
Jason clears his throat, eliciting an instant reply from Cody, Ken and George. Half of his audience deliberately coughing and spluttering doesn’t fill him with confidence, but he has enough self-control to continue where he left off last time.
‘In addition to his daily intake of anti-depressants, the Reverend Biggins fails to complete his latest attempt at completing his sermon because he has also imbibed at least ‘one last snifter’, as he describes it, at least three times. The vicar’s wife, Lucy, finds him virtually horizontal.
Sebastian, who has been thrown out of the family home - and the chip shop - by his wife, Anna, ends up sleeping on an ‘Anglers’ bed’ at his friend’s house in Green Crescent. While he is there, his premium bonds bear fruit, but he is not telling Anna – just yet.
Cynthia Adalyn has always fancied Sebastian. She would love to be by his side, frying his cod and chips every evening. If Anna throws him out, she thinks, he’s mine. Cynthia takes her chance by following him to his friend’s house and tries to force her way in.’
Jason pauses as Ken Taylor laughs out loud.
‘Blimey, Sebas – er, Cody – what have you got that the rest of us haven’t?’
Cody clenches his fists.
‘Ken,’ snaps Jason, ‘is it always going to be like this?’
‘Well, it is funny, Jase, you must admit.’
‘No, Ken, I don’t admit, and if you can’t behave, you’ll have to leave.’
~
‘You didn’t hear it from me. Right, Frank?’
There is a silence while Frank puts his glass to his mouth. Nice drop of ale, he thinks.
‘Carry on, Colin. I need to know. I’m responsible for the lives of everyone in the village.’
This is something that many in Leeford – particularly the likes of Ken, Cody, Ted and Vera – would vehemently reject. The thought of their lives being in the hands of Frank Watson would not sit well with most of the inhabitants, but it is fair to say that they do, on occasion, misunderstand his motives.
Colin takes another sip of his orange juice.
‘This census. It’s a sham.’
‘What do you mean, Colin?’
‘What I say. Lindale wants – needs – the precise figures so his plan can be put into action.’
Frank takes a deep breath.
‘What plan?’
‘The merger.’
Frank downs the remainder of the ale in one gulp.
‘I don’t understand. Merger with what?’
Colin follows suit with his orange juice.
‘The village to the north of Leeford – Bordsley. What people don’t know is that the border between Banfield and Wolverhampton is changing in the next three years and Bordsley will become part of North Banfield.’
‘I’d heard something about that,’ says Frank, ‘but I thought that had more to do with parliamentary borders.’
‘It has,’ replies Colin, ‘but our illustrious leader is taking the opportunity to cut costs. Two small villages become one. Two parish councils become one⸺’
‘Two parish council leaders become one,’ interrupts Frank.
‘What are you going to do, Frank?’
‘I’ll have to talk to my parish councillors. Don’t worry, Colin, I’ll keep you out of it.’
~
Catch up on all the episodes and find out more here:
For more information visit the authors at michaelbraccia.co.uk and jonmarkes.com
- Episode 114: (Today’s coffee will be late)
- Episode 113: I want to be a Thornton
- Episode 112: (Simon smells the coffee)
- Episode 111: A kiss, and meat in Coventry
- Episode 110: A visitor arrives
- Episode 109: The butcher and his mom
- Episode 108: (A meaty issue)
- Episode 107: Friends – let’s eat
- Episode 106: Next customer, please!
- Episode 105: A Ghost of a Chance
- Episode 104: Who's there?
- Episode 103: To bin or not to bin?
- Episode 102: Which George?
- Episode 101: Carat or carrot?
- Episode 100: Monkeying around
- Episode 99: The vicar, in the study, with a telephone
- Episode 98: Justin from Porlock
- Episode 97: The job, the church and the farm shop
- Episode 96: He’s incensed, Frank!
- Episode 95: What is that beeping noise?
- Episode 94: ‘Insubby what?’
- Episode 93: A question of degree
- Episode 92: The Deutsche ‘mark’
- Episode 91: New Beginnings
- Episode 90: You’re a genius, George
- Episode 89: The Fate of the Fête
- Episode 88: It’s thereabouts
- Episode 87: Long-Haired Reginald
- Episode 86: What a difference a day makes
- Episode 85: Cody Follows Leeds
- Episode 84: Missing
- Episode 83: Will he make it?
- Episode 82: The Man Protesteth Too Much
- Episode 81: He knows nothing
- Episode 80: A bit of culture
- Episode 79: ‘They’ll damage me coach!’
- Episode 78: A dry journey
- Episode 77: The patter of tiny feet
- Episode 76: A problem shared makes more problems
- Episode 75: The village needs a leader
- Episode 74: Meetings
- Episode 73: Will she tell Cody?
- Episode 72: Thank you, Grandad
- Episode 71: Clicked in the kitchen
- Episode 70: X marks the spot
- Episode 69: Flag Day
- Episode 68: Let battle commence
- Episode 67: They’ve gone
- Episode 66: We’re Leeford and proud!
- Episode 65: Who’d be a vicar?
- Episode 64: Keep your hair on
- Episode 63: Best vicar in the world
- Episode 62: A fair cop?
- Episode 61: The Reveal
- Episode 60: Unlocking the cellar mystery
- Episode 59: Whose chest is it?
- Episode 58: Part of the machinery
- Episode 57: When the lights go out
- Episode 56: Into the darkness
- Episode 55: Where is Allen?
- Episode 54: Be prepared!
- Episode 53: Labour intensive
- Episode 52: Ask no questions
- Episode 51: Of significant hysterical interest
- Episode 50: Dylan is not Bolan
- Episode 49: Say it with flowers
- Episode 48: How much?
- Episode 47: Electric Warrior
- Episode 46: Straight as something that’s straight
- Episode 45: Is this going to change everything?
- Episode 44: …and a large mushy peas, please
- Episode 43: One won’t hurt
- Episode 42: Black, or white?
- Episode 41: He’s done what?
- Episode 40: The Big Day Arrives
- Episode 39: You have four yesses
- Episode 38: Awaiting their fête
- Episode 37: (Well, it ain’t Shakespeare…!)
- Episode 36: Schrödinger's Cucumber
- Episode 35: We’re gonna make you a star!
- Episode 34: Fame and Fêtes
- Episode 33: Liar! Liar!
- Episode 32: Let’s be Frank
- Episode 30: Fat-pipe parallel whatsits
- Episode 29: The Leeford Factor
- Episode 28: I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes
- Episode 27: Wherefore art thou…PC Carr?
- Episode 26: The truth about Vera
- Episode 25: The same old song
- Episode 24: Loving you crazy, all six of you
- Episode 23: No guarantee
- Episode 22: Over the hedge
- Episode 21: Taking the biscuit
- Episode 20: Ziggy Zagger, and women footballers
- Leeford Village drama serial to be broadcast over the airwaves
- Episode 19: One, two, three, four
- Episode 18: Opportunity Knocks
- Episode 17: Ted, the magician
- Episode 16: Frank
- Episode 15: Questions, Questions
- Episode 14: Double trouble
- Episode 13: The Bald Facts
- Episode 12: Arrested Development
- Episode 11: Arson? Really?
- Episode 10: Give peas a chance
- Episode 9: Back again, my dear?
- Episode 8: Happy birthday to you and you and you…
- Episode 7: Keeping the Emergency Services Busy
- Episode 6: We seek’m here, we seek’m there
- Episode 5: Pay your dues
- Episode 4: A right old pickle
- Episode 3: Ring of fire
- Episode 2: Signor Jesus here
- Episode 1: No Place Like Gnome