Mark Andrews on Saturday: Coronavirus trolls go viral

A reader takes me to task for last week's comments about Greta Thunberg, accusing me of sour grapes on the basis that her four million Twitter supporters comfortably eclipsing my quite paltry following.

Actually, I was unaware of this statistic, but I will happily concede defeat in this game of Top Trumps. However given that wisdom is evidently measured by one's popularity on social media, and the more followers you have the more valid your opinion, I guess we must all defer to the man with 74 million followers – @RealDonaldTrump.

And if you want further proof of Twitter's role as the crucible of intelligence and compassion, take a look at some of the comments posted this week in response to the news that Tory MP Nadine Dorries has been diagnosed with coronavirus.

Now I'm all for a bit of healthy scepticism towards the political class, and it is certainly true that 'Mad Nad' is not everyone's cup of tea. But taking time out of your day to wish ill health and suffering on somebody simply because you disagree with their politics is the mark of a seriously unpleasant and rather messed-up individual.

And the irony is that many of the people wishing Mrs Dorries ill have the hashtag #bekind on their Twitter profiles. Presumably that is an abbreviation for 'Be kind to people you agree with, and horrible to everybody else'.

That said, I do think Mrs Dorries over-reacted when she accused a tabloid journalist of sinking to a 'new low' by turning up on her doorstep to ask her about it.

"He opened the gate, knocked on the door, rang the bell," she wrote, also on Twitter, of course.

Nadine, love, if that's the worst you've suffered, you've led a very sheltered life.

People seem to get very excited by the fact that this week the Prime Minister held a Cobra meeting to discuss the crisis. Well, you know what they say, when the going gets tough, the tough hold meetings.

And don't all government, council and other public-sector types just love a good acronym? Back in 2003 this got so ridiculous at Dudley Council that it had to provide a key explaining them all at the start of one particularly unintelligible report.

All in all, it had to explain some 38 acronyms and abbreviations, before revealing how it planned to 'provide accredited learning opportunities for young people through the CSLA, D of E, BELA and YAA.' Which, is what they're all saying down the Dog and Duck.

But back to coronavirus, and while the Cobra abbreviation for 'Cabinet Office, Briefing Room A' certainly sounds tough and macho, one does wonder whether it will spread unnecessary alarm in these uncertain times.Would it be more re-assuring if the talks took place in the 'Pretend You're Terribly Happy Or Normal' (Python) room? Or maybe the 'Say Nothing And Kover Ears' (Snake) office?