Andrews on Saturday – it's hard work saving the planet

Maybe we can forgive her decadent wedding, where 237 guests were flown 3,500 miles for a three-day banquet, which presumably involved more than tiny portions of Big Mac. You only get married once, and even Gunhild is allowed to take the hair-shirt off once in a while.

But in the past few months she has been pictured sun-bathing in Mexico, relaxing in Greece, hugging a tree in Costa Rica, meditating in Antibes, posing in a flash car in Cuba, and sunning herself in St Tropez. It’s hard work saving the planet.

I think the clincher, though, is the £20 million private jet, which I’m guessing causes a bit more damage to the environment than bog-standard family Volvo.

Politicians are no better. They never tire of telling us to use public transport while swanning around in chauffeur-driven cars.

In December the United Nations climate-change conference takes place in Poland, and I look forward to seeing world leaders queuing late at night at inner-city bus stations after feasting on rice and mung beans.

In the meantime, I still want my pork scratchings.

*BREXIT negotiations for beginners. Say you’re buying a secondhand car, and you walk into the showroom telling the salesman you won’t be leaving without some kind of deal. You would naturally prefer a good deal, but walking away without the car is completely off the table.

You then decide it’s a bit expensive, and ask for a three-grand discount. What do you think the salesman will say?

Yet this seems to be the strategy of several of our senior politicians, including Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and Tory Anna Soubry.

Perhaps they should put a straight-talking Black Country ‘mon’ in charge of the proceedings instead. He couldn’t do much worse.

*MEANWHILE Miss Soubry seems to be a bit upset at being called a ‘Nazi’ by some yobbish militant Brexit supporters.

I suppose it is rather bad manners, but one can’t help but wonder when the Nottinghamshire MP became such a sensitive individual?

Many of you will remember how, back in the late 1980s, she presented a late-night debating show called Central Weekend. And for those who don’t, it was like a bit like Jeremy Kyle, only about politics.

Week in, week out, people just like the yobs outside Parliament were invited onto the show, to be whipped up into a state of rage, before bouncers occasionally appeared to stop any fisticuffs.

I’m not condoning loutish behaviour by any means. But given her previous career, you would think Anna was made of sterner stuff.

*FOLLOWING last week’s observations about the Army’s recruitment campaign targeting ‘snow flakes’, ‘me, me, me millennials’ and, ‘phone zombies’, asks why, when Britain is suffering an epidemic of violent crime, are our armed forces targeting the softest members of society?

It’s a good point. We’re constantly told young people area dragged into gang culture through a lack of opportunity, and that gang membership gives them a sense of belonging they don’t get in broken homes.

In the past, the Army would have taken these kids in hand, given them a sense of purpose and discipline, and made men out of them.

Now, of course, we don’t want an army made up of criminals and hooligans. But instead of gimmicky campaigns targeting shrinking violets, maybe our armed forces should target youngsters from the wrong side of the tracks before they go astray.