Pete Cashmore: Pantomimes are a national treasure

Oh no she didn't! Ha ha. I couldn't resist that.

Because I am a journalist and I pick up on these things thanks to my newshound's instincts, I surmise that my colleague Bozzers does not like pantomime, writes Pete Cashmore.

It was the phrase 'detestable, annual maniacal tradition' that tipped me off.

To her I say: how can you not?

She seems to think they are naff, repetitive and awash with Z-list celebrities. But to criticise pantomime on these grounds is like having a go at water for being wet.

Naffness, familiarity and vaguely famous participants are the very lifeblood of pantomime, and they should be embraced.

(As an aside, I should point out that Kirsty was right down the front, jostling for position, when the opportunity came up for a selfie with the Chuckle Brothers when they visited the E&S office)

There's a common misconception that naff things are something to be derided, when in fact there is a place for naffness, just as there is a place for gentility and high culture.

Here are some naff things, off the top of my head. Carry On films. David Hoff. Every 'augmented reality' TV show ever made. Every TV talent show currently in existence. Most of the music from the disco era. All-you-can-eat buffets.

All naff, all great. Especially the buffets.

It's true that pantomimes trade on repetition, but if they didn't, they wouldn't be pantomimes, just a bunch of stuff happening on a stage whether you like it or not.

It would be terrible to go to a pantomime and NOT get the chance to yell "HE'S BEHIND YOU!" like a buffoon. It would be like going to the zoo and not bothering with the monkeys, when they're the best bit!

As for the Z-listers, I would first respectfully remind La Bosley that the Wolverhampton pantomime has both the Chuckles AND Nasty Nick from Eastenders, and if she's saying they're not magnificent then I know somebody who's being removed from my Christmas card list.

Personally, I think it's nice that the likes of Christopher Biggins and Anita Dobson can be sure of some seasonal work to keep the wolf from the door. I find it very comforting.

That's the point of pantomimes, too. They're comforting. You can attend one safe in the knowledge that you know what you're going to get.

There will be catchphrases. There will be call-and-response.

There will be a young lady inexplicably dressed as a man, and a substantially older man dressed as a lady.

There will be a bit of bawdy humour that the kids won't get.

And you already know how they are all going to end.

Formal innovation is fine, but a pantomime is no place for it.

And that is why they will always live happily, and naffly, ever after.