Pain and the thought of pain

I woke at 3.35am with pain in my hip, come to think of it I often wake in the early hours with pain in my hip. Or my knee. Or my back. Just lately in my shoulder too. Another side affect of hypermobility syndrome and arthritis. Lying on my right side often results in a subluxed (an incomplete or partial dislocation) hip and I can tell you here and now, it hurts! It hurts not only while it is subluxed, but for quite a time after its clicked back in.

This morning I am fighting the pain in my hip and also my back, my lower spine to be precise. I have degenerative disc disease and arthritis with constant pain, pain which never really leaves me, despite being prescribed strong pain killers and nsaids, (non steroidal anti inflammatory drugs). They may, if I'm lucky, take the edge off, though being in constant pain is a sap to my strength and energy, a vicious circle, as when you are tired and devoid of energy it is hard to fight pain.

My head is in a whirl lying here in the darkness, going over the events of yesterday, a day which I had been dreading for some time. In the morning I had an appointment with a cardiologist as I have had problems for some time with palpitations which can cause me to black out. Having had a barrage of tests I learnt at my appointment that I have an arrhythmia SVT, a condition which is treatable with drugs. It is a problem with the electrical function of my heart which can cause it to suddenly start beating very fast. I saw a really nice doctor, who explained to me that I am in no danger of a heart attack, but if it causes me more problems in the future. I can have a small procedure to burn off the bit that's causing me trouble! Can't say I fancy that much, so I'll be sticking to the tablets!

The bit of the day I was dreading was the appointment at maxillofacial/ENT as the dentist broke my tooth off in the summer when pulling it out, leaving the root behind. In the meantime the gum has eventually healed over where the root is, meaning to now get the root out involves cutting the gum, a procedure which I don't relish. It has taken weeks and weeks, and considerable pain and discomfort, to heal in the first place and now they want to cut it open again a couple of weeks before Christmas! Its taken a long time but I can now say it doesn't hurt me any longer, so my thought is: why have it done if there's no need?! My hubby insisted I go, he's the designated driver, (I never learnt to drive, to my regret) and he parked in plenty of time for the appointment. I tried to tell him I wanted to go home, after all I had already been to the same hospital in the morning at cardiology, we had visited our niece who lives nearby in between appointments, and there we were back on the same car park, almost in the same parking spot!

I was persuaded to go in, so there I am on my mobility scooter (it folds up and lives in the boot of the car) trying to negotiate a busy hospital corridor, and worse the dreaded lift, topped off with a busy waiting room.

I'm called through after sitting in the first waiting room for 15 minutes, into another waiting room where I sit for another 15 or 20 minutes. My name is called out and I'm handed a piece of paper and told 'firstly can you go and have an xray'. At this point I'm just about ready to burst into tears, the x-ray department is right at the other end of the hospital! The nurse looks at me, and at my stick, and asks: "Can you get there?"

I shake my head no, then I say: "I think I want to go home". She then offers to get a porter with a wheelchair for me. She says the root might give me no problem, or at some time in the future it could cause a nasty abscess, did I want to just have the x-ray then see how I feel? If I'm going to go home after the x-ray can I ask them to ring and let them know? I ask how likely is it that I could have problems and her reply is: "How long is a piece of string?"

I take the paper and go back to the first waiting room to get my mobility scooter, no way am I waiting for a porter with a wheelchair. Firstly it could take ages before they arrive, secondly oh the embarrassment of being pushed through the place in a wheelchair, then having to wait to be pushed back. It could take hours! I tell hubby miserably about the x-ray and we set off for the lift. The corridor is full of people waiting for the lifts, one of the lifts is out of order making the congestion worse.

The lift arrives and the people all waiting try to tell me to get in first, I refuse saying no no you were all here before me. They get in and stand as far back as possible to let me in, but I'm not going to, it's too crowded. I want to wait for the next one. Hubby walks in, why I don't know, he should realise I'm not getting in with all those people, and I have to call to say it's too crowded, he jumps out again, just as the other lift arrives.

Once I've used the lift, getting back out was horrible, a whole crowd of people were waiting to use it and I had to back out, just about avoiding running into them as none of them had the good grace to move away! I tried to make a run for it and go back to the car, but hubby stopped me and tried to persuade me to go for the x-ray, but then I got caught by the slopes. Small, foldable mobility scooters are meant for going around shops and they don't tackle slopes too well. There were two rather steep slopes along the corridors towards the x-ray department, I got halfway up the first and my scooter stopped.

No way would it get up those slopes, I turned round and went home.