Pub games of yesteryear could give TV a boost

Normally a quietly spoken, polite sort of fellow, on this particular occasion he could barely contain himself.

At one point, he thought about loosening his kipper tie, undoing the top button, and slinging his natty brown velour jacket across the lounge like a Saturday Night Fever tribute act.

And why not? It's not every day that you win the coveted 'shove ha'penny' title on national television in front of a frenzied crowd, picking up a princely £100 first prize for your troubles.

The beer was flowing, the chain-smoking left a cloud of fog hovering under the ceiling, and the physiques were, shall we say, a little on the portly side.

Welcome to the world of Indoor League, the cult pub sports show hosted by one of the greatest fast bowlers ever to play cricket for England, blunt-talking Yorkshireman, the late Fred Trueman. If you ever saw the show, chances are you'll never have forgotten it.

Because for five or six years in the 1970s, Indoor League gained a cult daytime following. Yorkshire Television built a pretend pub in its studio, and hosted an array of weird and wonderful pub games including table football, shove ha'penny, bar billiards, pool, skittles, and even arm wrestling.

With the British pub trade on its knees right now, isn't this the perfect time to bring it back? Minus the chain smoking, and the host's questionable chunky brown cardigan, it surely has the makings of a cult hit.

Adventurers

All you'd need to do is rope in some Ant and Dec-type adventurers to tour the country with a camera crew, hosting the kind of tough-fought pub battles that the International Olympic Committee turns its nose up at, then bring the champs into the studio for a grand final at the end of the year.

It's not as if telly executives don't have an appetite for game show nostalgia right now. Why else would they bring back Catchphrase, or the frankly risible new version of Through The Keyhole, with that unpalatable Keith Lemon? Indoor League could be a heap more fun.

The closest we've come to this kind of entertainment since those halcyon days was the magnificently naff Bullseye, hosted by Jim Bowen and his sidekick Tony Green. "Stay out of the black and into the red . . . there's nothing in this game for two in a bed." Filmed in the land-locked West Midlands, it always struck me as odd that the star prize was usually a speedboat!

It was stupid at the time, and is downright surreal looking back on it now, yet given the Hollywood-style showbiz of today's darts circuit, where the Premier League tour fills some of the country's largest indoor arenas, please tell me that someone, somewhere, is at least discussing the idea in tower block of telly movers and shakers.

Imagine the possibilities which today's technology provides. Live video links to pub darts games, a viral online following, and proof that there's more to gaming than online poker and Grand Theft Auto.

For the uninitiated, check out Indoor League on Youtube. It's hilarious. Any programme whose titles start with a 18-stone darts player leaping in the air in cheesy slow motion gets my vote.

I'll leave you with that thought. As the legendary Mr Trueman used to say at the conclusion of each episode: "I'll se' thee . . ."