Rhodes on a shortage of guns, a surfeit of porn and criminals who do a runner

And now the good news. For unknown reasons, nobody has been killed in a shooting on the streets of London since October last year. A seven-month hiatus like this is rare indeed; in recent years annual gun deaths have usually exceeded 12. Police suspect drug gangs are having difficulty getting their hands on guns. I dare say when the war in Ukraine is over, there'll be shedloads of the things for sale.

As today's council election results come in, the Conservatives can expect to lose seats because that's what happens to every government in mid-term. But this time they are also expecting to see a few hundred Tory councillors booted out, thanks to the Partygate effect.

Now the clever part, if you're good at maths. Estimate the normal mid-term slump, compare it with today's actual result and calculate how many additional Tory seats were lost thanks to a) rising prices, b) events in Ukraine or c) cake and champers in Downing Street. Isolate the scale of the Partygate factor and you may be able to figure out how much of a liability Boris has become. You might even forecast the date when he will pack his bags and leave Number Ten.

Naturally, to calculate any of the above you will need the very latest computer-aided technology. I'm at a bit of a disadvantage, having never really got the hang of this slide rule.

In a bid to reduce the backlog of trials, magistrates have had their sentencing powers increased from six months to 12 years. Let us hope their courtroom security has also been increased. Some magistrates' court rooms are more like posh offices than places of punishment. In my court reporter days I saw two defendants simply run out of the building. Open justice?

Friends of the disgraced Tory MP Neil Parish say he stumbled across online porn while looking for tractors. Older readers may recall my embarrassment some years ago when an innocent search for radiators involving the term “B&Q” led unto all sorts of dodgy stuff; I never did figure out why. But out of idle curiosity this week, in the wake of Mr Parish's embarrassment, I typed in “B&Q” to discover no links to any sort of porn. Unless fitted kitchens ring your bell.