Saturday night TV in bad need of a makeover

It's time for a new form of Saturday and Sunday night entertainment on the box,

writes Dan Wainwright

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Britain's run out of "Talent" and the X-Factor, with bland covers that get beaten to number one by heavy rock classics, has left us wondering why we even bother.

Each decade of my life has had its own particular brand of show that has helped viewers pass a weekend in front of the TV.

As my 20s are about to enter their final phase in September and I become increasingly more aware of the aches and pains of a 3am finish to a night on the tiles I am preparing to take a more vested interest in light entertainment that could keep me comfy on the sofa.

In the 80s it was Beadle's About, Blind Date and, Lord help us, Surprise Surprise. Kids of the 60s would run and hide behind the sofa when the Daleks came on. But the sound of Cilla getting ready to sing "the unexpected hits you between the eyeeeeees" would usually send me scurrying for the cover of my Nan's dralon.

In the 90s all we needed was Noel's House Party. People seemed suitably amused at the idea of the bearded one's Crinkly Bottom. I guess it might have been due to the recession at the time, there wasn't much else to go around.

By the time we reached the 2000s it was all about the receptionists, students and spinsters with untapped talent as we voted in our millions to send them on their way to stardom.

But that's all done now. The well is dry. I know it doesn't look like it yet. After all there were more than 19 million viewers for BGT on Saturday and they can't all be wrong can they?

Hear me out though please. Dancing dogs, ace gymnasts and singing accountants aside there was definitely a dead horse being flogged unmercifully over the past week.

The Irish jig dancing pensioner, the cross dressers and the man who sang both Elton John and Kiki Dee's parts for Don't Go Breaking My Heart should never have reached the semi finals, not even just for entertainment value.

And with Simon Cowell now considering a "World's Got Talent" event at the Royal Albert Hall my ears are picking up the faint squeal of a barrel being scraped.

Best leave it there and come up with something new. Of course the question now is what we could possibly replace it with. And with ITV still suffering falling revenues it's not exactly going to want to kill off its prize cash cow just yet.

Batten down the hatches then. Because if the talent fest goes global then we won't just be dealing with Brits who can't sing in tune – it'll be like watching Eurovision every weekend.

It's enough to make you long for Cilla. Almost.