Share your best Christmas jokes
What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas dinner? Twerky. As the top ten modern festive jokes are revealed we want you to share your own crackers with us.
A competition from new comedy TV channel Gold saw budding comics send in their best Christmas gags and here is their full top ten:
1. What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky.
2. Why did no one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.
3. Mary and Joseph - now they had a stable relationship.
4. What does the Queen call her Christmas broadcast? The One Show.
5. What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker.
6. Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.
7. How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
8. Why is it getting harder to buy advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.
9. How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed? You've got three extra hoes.
10. Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender.
What are your top Christmas jokes? Share them in the comments section below or tweet us @ExpressandStar
