After infertility heartbreak, we found our family through fostering
For Ted and Tanya, the dream of becoming parents was woven into their relationship from the very beginning. Meeting later in life, they knew time might not be on their side, but they held tightly to the hope of building a family together.
Years of trying to conceive followed. IVF brought moments of possibility, then crushing disappointment. “Those were very sad days,” Tanya says. “Infertility carries a quiet grief. It affects every part of you – your confidence, your plans, your sense of the future. But even then, we knew we had so much love to give.” They spoke often about alternative paths to parenthood. Adoption. Fostering. The longing to nurture and guide a child never faded.
Four years ago, they welcomed their birth daughter, a moment of pure joy. Yet rather than closing the chapter on their earlier struggles, it opened a new one. “We realised our family might not be complete yet,” Ted explains. “We still had space in our home and in our hearts”.
Choosing fostering
After researching their options, the couple made an enquiry with Compass Fostering. What stood out immediately was the emphasis on support. “We didn’t want to feel like we were stepping into something alone,” Tanya says. “From the first conversation, we felt listened to. They took time to understand our journey”.
Fostering is often misunderstood. Many assume you need to have had children already, or to be a certain age, career background or marital status. In reality, foster carers come from all walks of life. What they share is the capacity to provide stability, patience and care to a child who needs it.
After completing training and assessments, Ted and Tanya welcomed a young person into their home.
A transformation they never imagined
When she first arrived, she was non-verbal and facing significant developmental and emotional challenges. The early weeks required calm routines, reassurance and specialist input. “It wasn’t about dramatic changes,” Ted reflects. “It was about creating safety. Letting her know she didn’t have to be frightened anymore”.
Through consistent care at home and therapeutic support from professionals, small steps forward began to appear. A word spoken. Eye contact held. A smile that lingered.
Over time, those steps became strides.
Today, she is being recommended for mainstream education and working towards future GCSEs, progress her foster carers once scarcely dared to imagine. “To watch her confidence grow has been extraordinary,” Tanya says. “The first time she properly spoke to us, we both cried. You realise you’re witnessing something incredibly important”.
Finding purpose beyond infertility
For Ted and Tanya, fostering has not replaced their experience of infertility. Instead, it has reframed it. “Infertility felt like the end of a dream,” Tanya says. “Fostering helped us see it wasn’t the end of our story. It was the beginning of something different – and in many ways, something even more meaningful”.
They are open about the realities. Fostering requires resilience. There are challenges. Children who enter care often carry trauma, loss and uncertainty. But foster carers are not expected to manage alone.
With support from Compass Fostering Community, which brings together care, education and therapeutic expertise, Ted and Tanya have access to training, guidance and 24-hour advice. “You’re never left to figure things out by yourself,” Ted says. “There’s always someone to call. That support makes all the difference”.
“The best decision we ever made”
Now, three years into their fostering journey, their home is filled with laughter, routine, sibling squabbles and shared milestones, the ordinary moments that make up family life.
When asked whether they would recommend fostering to others who have experienced infertility, their answer is immediate. “If you have love to give, don’t close your heart,” Tanya says gently. “It won’t look exactly how you once imagined. But it can be just as beautiful”.
Ted agrees. “Choosing to foster was the best decision we ever made. We only wish we’d done it sooner.” For this couple, infertility did not define the rest of their lives. Instead, it led them to a path where love expanded, not diminished, and where a child who needed someone in her corner found a family ready to stand there.
About Compass Fostering
Compass Fostering provides therapeutic fostering services across the UK, offering foster carers market-leading support, training, and 24/7 access to expert advice. Powered by the Compass Community, it brings care, education, and therapy together to give every child the best opportunities.
To enquire, head to compassfostering.com and see if fostering is the right fit for you.
