Marie Curie colleagues in the West Midlands share advice on coping with loss at Christmas ahead of remembrance service

The service is taking place during Grief Awareness Week (December 2-8) and will involve readings, music and allow local families and hospice staff a chance to come together to reflect on the memories of loved ones who have died. 

Ahead of the event, Jane Murray, Bereavement Services Manager at Marie Curie Hospice, Solihull, shares advice on coping with loss at Christmas time. She says: “The festive period can be a difficult time of year for people who’ve been bereaved, no matter how long ago their loss happened. It’s important to remember that grief is a normal emotion and there is no right or wrong way to grieve, no set pattern and no set time frame.  

“It's not unusual to find this time of year emotionally exhausting as you might feel an expectation to be happy and joyful, stick to traditions and not spoil things for others. However, taking care of yourself is key - it's okay to do things differently and to ask for help. 

“Some people may want to hold time in the day to remember their loved one by lighting a candle, looking at photos, or sharing memories. Others may not want to celebrate at all. Planning ahead together with friends and family to discuss what feels manageable can help to relieve feelings of pressure.  

“For anyone struggling with bereavement during this time, Marie Curie’s free Support Line (0800 090 2309) is open over the festive period.” 

Marie Curie provides expert end of life care for people with any illness they are likely to die from, and support for loved ones, in the charity’s hospices and in people’s homes. 

The charity is dependent on public donations so that its Nurses and healthcare assistants can provide expert end of life care to people at home, in their hospices, and through it’s free Support Line (0800 090 2309) and webchat. 

Vicki Clark, a Healthcare Assistant at the Marie Curie Solihull hospice, also shares her personal experience of managing grief at this time of year. She says: “I lost my mum four years ago and for me this time of year can be especially tough, as she passed away a few weeks before Christmas. It can be hard celebrating Christmas as dad is less interested in the festivities than he used to be, but we like to reminisce about our good times as a family before we lost mum. My wife and colleagues help me maintain my positivity during this period.  

“At the hospice, a lot of our patients and families are aware it may be their last Christmas together - we offer a listening ear and a good chat when wanted, as well as private time to spend with each other in their own spaces. If people want to celebrate Christmas or any other occasion, we will make it happen, regardless of the time of year - we’ve bedecked the halls with tinsel in June before now!”  

The Marie Curie Lights to Remember service at the Solihull hospice on Marsh Lane will begin at 4pm on Sunday, December 7, and is free to attend. Attendance can be confirmed by emailing LTRMidlands@mariecurie.org.uk. 

No one should die without the expert care they need at Christmas but every five minutes, someone dies without it. Donate to Marie Curie’s Christmas Appeal to give care, comfort and joy this Christmas - mariecurie.org.uk/christmas