New mum fights loss of identity with sustainable weight loss
At 32-years-old and finding her way through new motherhood, Abby Kinley was struggling with her low self-esteem and was overweight, and so searched for her local Slimming World group.
Abby’s daughter, Florence, was born at the end of 2021. "I found motherhood very challenging and isolating. I found I was eating convenience foods because I was feeling overwhelmed, which caused my weight to spiral quickly, especially once I stopped breastfeeding. I found myself withdrawing from friends who had known me ‘before’ Florence was born, because I was so worried that they wouldn’t recognise me with my weight gain. I’d completely lost my identity and I felt lost and unwell, mentally and physically. I didn’t recognise myself", she says.
In January 2024, while getting ready to celebrate husband Mike's 40th surprise birthday party, Abby was dressing in a size 16 skirt and the button ripped off, tearing the material. "I had no alternate outfits as I'd stopped buying clothes for myself, stopped looking after myself and lived in dark jeans and oversized jumpers, so I had to just tie the damaged skirt together as best I could. I felt panicked and trapped, as I couldn't cancel plans because it was a surprise party." Abby reached out to Consultant Irene a few days later and, following a reassuring response encouraging her to group, walked through the doors at Council Chambers in Wombourne, South Staffordshire.
Initially, Abby felt as though she would be out of place, not knowing anyone in the group and feeling very self-conscious but the members were very warm and friendly, with all sorts of different people there. "I was worried that I would be the youngest in the room and wouldn’t have anything in common with anyone", she says. But Abby was really surprised to find a bustling group, with men and women of all ages, all chatting and laughing together.
In her first week, Abby lost 6lbs by following the Food Optimising Plan. The flexible eating plan is rooted in the science and psychology of food and eating habits, putting members in control. Food Optimising is non-restrictive, with members encouraged to eat unlimited amounts of ‘free-foods’ including meat, fish, pasta, fruit and vegetables. Members are also supported to get active in ways that they love, through the Body Magic programme, putting the member in control in a non-prescriptive way.
Having now lost almost 3 stone and wearing a dress size 10/12 Abby has chosen to become a Consultant herself, to help others to improve their mental health and rediscover their identities. "Slimming World has been so much more than a weight-loss plan for me. Yes, I feel much healthier and I’m able to physically enjoy life thanks to losing weight, even finding a love of outdoor cold water swimming. I would never have dreamed of putting on a bikini in front of strangers and diving into a lake before Slimming World! It’s much more than that though; I have rediscovered my confidence, self-belief and identity, which has liberated me from a dark place and has helped me to become a better mum to Florence too.
"I’m delighted to teach Florence how to cook belly-filling healthy meals after nursery - we chop vegetables together and eat together as a family at the dinner table now rather than eat takeaways in front of the TV. I’m proud to be able to show her what a healthy, balanced eating looks like, completely free from diet culture."
Abby’s group is held at the Church of the Ascension, High Street, Wall Heath DY6 9AH on a Saturday at 8am.
