Peter Rhodes: Blame the grown-ups

"SO sugar's to blame," an enthusiastic radio reporter declared during a report on the shocking news that extractions of baby teeth have risen by 24 per cent. No, sugar's not to blame. Adults are to blame.

THE death of Martin McGuinness is a reminder of the gulf between what Whitehall says and what it does. The official line has always been: we never negotiate with terrorists. And yet the Government was secretly talking to McGuinness and his IRA cronies as early as the 1970s, but denied it for years. The Government's true position is as follows: we never negotiate with terrorists – unless we can.

HERE'S a strange thing. These days, there is scarcely a telly programme that doesn't come with some sort of warning that it may contain sexual incidents, extreme violence, distressing scenes or flashing lights which could cause epileptic attacks. And yet Mary Berry's sticky toffee pudding was unleashed on an unsuspecting nation this week, without a word of warning. More, more, I want more. . .

AS Mary takes flak from viewers for making the sticky pudding without dates and cooking a pie without a pastry base, one Tweeter noted: "She didn't use real rats in her ratatouille."

THERE is a stage in most arguments when, having dug yourself into a hole, it is wise to stop digging. BBC Asian Network carelessly posed this question: "What is the right punishment for adultery?" It prompted instant outrage from listeners horrified at the very suggestion that adultery should be regarded as a crime. The BBC apologised thus: "We admit that the question could have been phrased better," and should have left it at that. Instead, it added: "We never intend to imply blasphemy should be punished." In other words, BBC Asian Network is publicly objecting to a fundamental part of the religious and cultural practices of large parts of Asia. Stop digging, Auntie.

MEANWHILE, the European Court of Justice has ruled that employers are entitled to ban staff from wearing "visible religious symbols," a move condemned by some Muslims as a direct attack on women wearing hijabs at work. I can't see it happening in Britain. How could any company ban the hijab in the office when the woman wearing it may have come to work on a bus driven by a turban-wearing Sikh? The intriguing social development is that while the number of young Sikh men wearing turbans is declining, the number of young Muslim women wearing headscarves is increasing. Why would that be?

EGGS for tea. Can anyone explain why fried eggs in the evening taste entirely different from fried eggs in the morning?

WHILE we're at it, can any of you nettle experts out there confirm that some nettles have worse stings than others? I was stung twice in a day last year, once by a wasp and once by the infamously savage nettles in our hedgerow. The nettle sting was by far the more painful and long-lasting.

A READER inquires: "After Scottish independence, who gets custody of the Krankies?"