Peter Rhodes: Lords – who needs them?

SS-GB (BBC1), the drama based on a German occupation of Britain, is condemned for mumbling. We, the licence-payers, are not powerless. We should demand the highest standards of diction from actors, on pain of sacking. Ve haf vays of making zem talk.

LORD Newby says some peers do not have the "stomach" to delay the Government's Brexit legislation. Stomach? I suspect what's missing is a little lower in the anatomy. The House of Lords knows that if it frustrates the will of the people, then the people might start asking why we need 850 Lords in the first place. Might things be greatly improved by having 100, 50, or none at all?

I SUGGESTED BT ought to send us warnings about phishing scams using a fake BT website. A reader is way ahead of me. He says the crooks would continue to send the fake emails but would then send a follow-up email, warning us of the earlier emails and urging us to report them by clicking on the link. One click and you're stuffed. Never-ending, isn't it?

THANKS for your emails on the ultimate sandwich. A former soldier reckons you can't beat a steak-and-kidney pie filling. Eat as much of the pastry as possible, then slide the filling between two doorstep-thick crusts of bread. Perfect.

A READER asks whether I have any strong views of the Church of England's latest furore over same-sex marriages. Not really. It is hard to get worked up about the opinions of people who believe, without any evidence, that some benevolent sky-god is watching over us. I don't really care what superstitious people think about God, the Devil and heaven and hell, so why should I fret about their views on genitalia? As far as we can tell, the Church of England is morphing into a social club for people who just want to be sweet to each other, with none of that nasty, old-fashioned stuff about sin. More than 20 years ago I forecast the creation of the Church of Jesus Christ The Really Nice Bloke. I am sure it has a great future.

THE old imperial-v-metric battle rumbles on. A reader reports a radio interview with the parents of a premature baby who explained that when the child was born she was 11.4 centimetres long and weighed 1lb 6oz. I am reminded of the ironmonger who mocked a dithering customer who didn't know if he wanted 25mm or 40mm screws. When the customer finally opted for the 40mm screws, the ironmonger asked: "Right. How many ounces?"

EVER since the first drones began carrying cameras, the obvious question has been, how long before they carry humans? Now we know. "Self-flying taxis" will soon be operating in Dubai. A new era of personal travel beckons, but only for some. The snag is that these new drones can carry a single person and a bag - up to a total of 100kg, or about 15.5 stone. It's yet another social division. The slim shall fly but the plump will still get stuck in traffic jams.

I AM decorating once again and encountering more emulsion paints with names that tell you absolutely nothing. What colours, do you imagine, are: bali, ahoy, spa, abode, fountain or city state? I think I'll stick to my favourite combination: midlife, placenta and mouse burp.