Peter Rhodes: Embarrassment in the cinema

MORE than 70,000 residents of Greece's second-biggest city Thessaloniki were moved to safety a few days ago when an unexploded Second World War bomb was discovered. It makes you wonder what else is beneath our feet. We fret about Brexit, cyber-attacks, climate change and bird flu but never worry that some of Europe's greatest cities are sitting on thousands of unexploded bombs.

GREAT mysteries of our time . How does David Davis' unflattering text about Dianne Abbott, sent to one of his parliamentary "friends," miraculously get from the "friend" to the front pages of the newspapers? Unless, of course, some friends are not friends at all, but complete bounders.

THE European Commission says the UK's economic growth will slow down as a result of our vote to quit the EU. Always good to hear an impartial opinion, isn't it?

MY Campaign for the Restoration of Authentic Plumbing has at least one recruit. A reader tells me he needed a new lever flush for the loo. He chose a mid-range one and then noticed that the supplier also offered a lever designed for the disabled with a "nice large round flat end." It costs five times as much as the standard model which, as he says, hardly seems fair.

MY recent item on a gizmo which can detect if you're awkward on a date reminds one reader of the awkwardest date of all. He plucked up the courage to ask a girl at the office to the cinema. They settled back to enjoy Born Free. He slipped an arm around her. She seemed keen. But things went wrong after the interval when he popped to the loo and then bought some ice cream. She ate the ice-cream in silence. She pushed his arm away. Why the change? Looking down, he spotted four inches of white shirt tail sticking out through his flies. "We didn't have another date," he adds, still rueful after all these years. Any similar horror stories?

RESEARCH by a soup company suggests that thousands of Brits exist on the same sandwiches, day after day, year after year. More than half the 2,000 people questioned admitted they had eaten the same meals for as long as they could remember. One person owned up to eating a ham sandwich and a piece of fruit every day for the past 20 years. Time to ring the changes. This week, I grabbed a few things at random from the fridge and ended up with a turkey, lettuce, sauerkraut, tomato and mayonnaise sandwich. I will definitely have something different tomorrow.

TALKING of snacking habits, I once worked with someone who ate three Mars Bars every day. As far as I know he is still with us.

AFTER Monday's mention of the Chuckle Brothers, a reader writes acidly: "How they ended up on TV is a mystery to me." Let me tell you this. About a quarter-century ago I interviewed Barry and Paul Chuckle and returned home with their autographed photo. It was one of those very rare occasions when my daughter, then five, greeted me like a conquering hero. It doesn't matter what grown-ups think - the kids loved them.