Peter Rhodes: Who's that?

YOU have probably spotted the tiny problem with the statue of Cilla Black unveiled in Liverpool this week. In a classic example of the Emperor's new clothes, local people applauded the unveiling without daring to point out that it doesn't look even vaguely like Cilla.

READERS may be reminded of the celebrated "black Diana," the statue of the princess carved in black granite and unveiled in 2000. It looks nothing like Diana but bears a passing resemblance to Denis Norden without his specs. It stands outside a funeral directors in Walsall. Unlike the Scousers, Walsall folk have never kidded themselves it's a good likeness. "Demonic," was one Facebook user's opinion.

ROLF Harris is on trial for sex crimes with the jury having been told on day one of his previous convictions. He is giving evidence via a video link from prison. If one trial can begin with total disclosure such as this, why can't they all? At present, many trials are a little legal game where everyone in court, except the jury, knows the defendant is a serial villain with a criminal record as long as your arm, but all conspire to pretend it's the first time they've seen him. Everyone promises to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth yet juries are denied any details of previous offences. I have watched a lot of juries in action and have a lot of faith in them. They should be allowed to hear the whole truth, including previous convictions, and be trusted to reach a decision on the facts of the case.

WE don't like divided countries, cities or islands. They offend our sense of equality and justice. As talks stall on reuniting the Turkish and Greek portions of Cyprus, let's not be in any hurry. Until the Turkish invasion and partition of 1974, the massacres, rapes and mutilations inflicted by each side on the other were unspeakably brutal. Reunification will surely come and possibly a settling of property rights and other ancient grievances. But in sensitive places like Cyprus, until peace can be guaranteed, there is something to be said for the old saying: good fences make good neighbours.

TO my surprise, I have the support of at least one reader who believes human needs should be given priority over wildlife when it comes to turning Swansea bay into a vast electricity-generation tidal lagoon. He says: "When the wading birds have waded away, within a few months the new environment will be recolonised with new species which like the new conditions."

MIND you, tinkering with nature can have some strange and unexpected results. I know a sailing club whose pontoons were caked with the guano of cormorants. It was a smelly, slippery hazard. So they erected bamboo poles with plastic streamers to keep the big birds at bay. It worked, sort of.

THE unforeseen outcome was that the streamers were so effective in driving away the big, bullying cormorants that the pontoons have now been colonised by hundreds of little peewits (or Northern lapwings, if you want to be formal). The cormorant poo has been replaced by peewit poo which comes in smaller bundles but, frankly, is much the same.