Peter Rhodes: Another year draws to an end

JANUARY Screeching like a banshee, Sarah Palin pledges her support to Donald Trump. I can't think of a time when Hillary Clinton has looked quite so appealing.

FEBRUARY The One Show (BBC1) did its best to celebrate BBC3 being taken off air and consigned to the internet. It didn't wash. BBC3 is being launched in much the way that HMS Ark Royal was launched into a dynamic and vibrant new role in recycling. Or as we usually call it, the breaker's yard.

MARCH Time required to fight and win the first World War: four years. Time required to draw up new trade agreements in the event of the UK leaving the EU (according to Whitehall): 10 years.

APRIL A reader writes: "MPs fiddle expenses, rich avoid tax, unemployed fiddle benefits, traders fiddle Vat and tax, government fiddles statistics. It's what the Prime Minister refers to as all being in it together."

MAY Am I the only diesel-car driver feeling a little less guilty this week? There is something about half of Alberta going up in flames . . . that puts our own emissions in context.

JUNE Noticed how much easier it was for countries to leave the British Empire than it is to escape from the European Union? In the post-war world it was a simple case of pulling down the old flag, running up the new flag and waving goodbye. No Article 50, and definitely no queuing.

JULY "Took ages to find your house, mate. Went the wrong way up the bypass, had to stop and ask the way three times. Miserable weather, innit? Went fishing down the canal, caught a nice roach. Just sign here for your package, pal." Amazon says its parcels may soon be delivered by drones.

AUGUST The mystery is why the so-called Tory press are making Corbyn out to be a duffer or a liar over Traingate, and thus damaging his chances of being re-elected leader. The longer Corbyn leads the Labour Party, the happier the Tories will be.

SEPTEMBER On this week's University Challenge, four bright young things from Cambridge hadn't a clue when the Battle of the Somme began.

OCTOBER The scourge of "scary clowns" is terrorising people all over Britain in the run-up to Halloween. Before that it was the ice-bucket challenge. Come to think of it, a bucketful of iced water on a chilly October evening might be the perfect way to deal with scary clowns.

NOVEMBER Thanks for your continuing emails concerning near-misses with celebrities, including the one from a reader who claims his colleague shared a urinal with Shakin' Stevens.

DECEMBER Prince Harry was caught unawares when his host in the Caribbean called for a silence to mark the passing of Fidel Castro. The prince, snared in the unblinking eye of the world's media, duly stood still. That's diplomacy for you. You stand still as requested, even if your inner self is tap-dancing.

And the next big thing for 2017? See Monday's column