Peter Rhodes: A jolly night with Leonard Cohen

TAKE a large pinch of salt with this week's news that dementia has become the biggest cause of deaths in the UK. It is only the biggest if you split all the cancer deaths into separate forms of cancer. If you total them up, as most people do when referring to the Big C, then cancer is still more likely to kill you than dementia.

IN the same way, ignore those reports telling us that Oliver or Jack is the most popular name for boys in the UK. The most popular name, by far, is Mohammed. It's just that there are dozens of ways of spelling the name and the list-compilers treat all the variants (Mehmet, Moohammed, Mahmad, Mehmed, Mahamed, etc) as different names. I have no idea why.

ONE reader suggested that the late and usually mournful Leonard Cohen wrote "music to kill yourself by." However, another reader recalls a Cohen concert in 1973 when she and a friend, wearing the obligatory black frocks and sad faces, found their hero backed by a lively rock band and cracking jokes all night. Much to her own surprise, she enjoyed "a bloody good laugh."

THE National Council for the Training of Journalists says shorthand will no longer be compulsory for all students. This has sparked a debate between hacks who cherish the old skills and those who believe shorthand has been overtaken by technology. Curiously, no-one has made the point that you get much better quotes with shorthand. Many people cannot string a few words together properly and a recording machine mercilessly captures every gaff. The shorthand writer, in contrast, takes a note of what the interviewee meant to say. Which is why many years ago I reported that a local councillor who had warned officials about the flood risk to a street said: "I specifically told them it would be inundated" when what he'd actually said was: "I pacifically told them it would be unindated."

AS police launch a crackdown on drivers using mobile phones, here's something to watch out for. Have you noticed how many white vans have driver-side windows which are much dirtier than the rest of the vehicle? How long do you have to leave the window unwashed before it gets so opaque that nobody can see you using your mobile?

WHICH leads on to the tale of my fogging headlamps. It is a curse of old cars but the internet holds the answer to every problem. I found two websites dedicated to unfogging headlamps. The first explained how to blank off the entire area and apply a smooth grinding paste followed by several grades of finest sandpaper, leaving a few hours between coats and taking all day. Another site suggests a quick wipe with a cloth dipped in toothpaste. My car has never had such bright headlamps. Nor smelt so fresh.

THE snow leopard is an endangered species and, naturally, we blame wicked mankind for hunting and skinning them. Yet as Planet Earth II (BBC1) revealed, male snow leopards spend their lives fighting each other, killing the cubs of other males and mating so roughly that the female is often injured. The mothers are little better, dragging their cubs up into the coldest and deadliest of places. Endangered? Don't exactly help themselves, do they?