Peter Rhodes: For the love of a dog

BLAME the Kiwi accent. Whatever local TV and radio reporters may tell us, no survivors of the New Zealand earthquake have been ear-lifted to safety.

MARK Woods took his sick old dog Walnut for one final walk on the beach at Newquay before taking him to the vet to be put down. Mark, whose 18-year-old whippet was paralysed after a series of strokes, says he was amazed that hundreds of people and their dogs responded to his Facebook message and took part in this last act. He should not be so surprised. The bond between man and dog goes back thousands of years and there is no partnership quite like it between any other species on this planet. It began with us feeding them and them helping with our hunting. It evolved into the deepest affection. I know an old man whose beloved labrador died four years ago. Every night as he goes upstairs to bed he still says "Good night, Charlie" to the dog he shared his life with.

AS a keen observer of wildlife, let me tell you what would happen in a real-life version of the John Lewis Christmas TV advert which shows creatures happily bouncing on a trampoline. The foxes would eat the squirrels. The badgers would eat the hedgehogs. The badgers would then chase the foxes off the trampoline and mark their territory by pooing all over it. The family's boxer dog, smelling the badger dung, would then mark the place by peeing on it. By daybreak the much-awaited Xmas present would look like a cross between an abattoir and a sewage works, and you wouldn't let your kids anywhere near it.

ONCE again, as with the Scottish and EU referendums, the Trump pollsters got it wrong. The same factor seems to be at work whether in England, Scotland or America. It is the so-called "shy" voters. Whether they are shy Unionists, shy Tories, shy Brexiteers or shy Trumpers, they manage to distort the polls, time after time. Sometimes they tell the pollsters they haven't made up their minds. Sometimes, they claim to be voting for the other side. You would think by now that the polling companies would factor in this "shy" tendency. Just add a couple of percentage points to whichever cause or candidate looks the most politically incorrect. Sorted.

MY eye was caught by an online ad for a sports car. The usual succession of glossy, alluring photos included one proudly showing a Haynes workshop manual in the boot. Does this inspire confidence?

PROBABLY not. And I bet I'm not the only one put off by those strange car ads which snarl "no timewasters" or that ultimate deterrent: "recent bills for £6,000."

I LOVE this tale from Massachusetts. Samuel Peterson was born at 1.39am on Sunday, November 6. His brother Ronan was born 31 minutes later. However, it was the night when the clocks go back and so Ronan's official time of birth is not 2.10am but 1.10am. In other words, the twin born later is actually older than the one born first. That's what you get when you tinker with time.