Peter Rhodes: Poppies at Wembley

THE High Court says Parliament must have its say on the vote to leave the EU. Back in June, just before the referendum, I repeated an earlier warning to those who believed quitting would be a straightforward process: "If we vote In, we stay in the EU. If we vote Out, we stay in the EU. Simple as that."

HISTORIC England wants us to report "witch marks," ancient scratchings in old buildings, used as charms against witchcraft and evil spirits. It's a reminder that when Britain was a deeply religious nation it was also deeply superstitious. Queen Elizabeth the First was Defender of the Faith and prayed to God. But she also valued the advice of John Dee, her magician and astrologer. She was in every sense a Virgo.

A READER called Malcolm takes me to task for making fun of Malcolms everywhere "by irrelevant reference to a long-forgotten advert." If the 1970s Vicks Sinex advert, featuring Malcolm the mummy's boy, were indeed long-forgotten, I would agree. But it isn't. Like all the best adverts it is stamped on our consciousness for all time. You can find it on YouTube, along with the ad showing the Cadbury's Smash spacemen laughing about Earthling potato consumption. ("They peel them with their metal knives") We are still word-perfect, after all these years.

TODAY is an anniversary. Eight years ago our cat wandered in from the November chill. He was microchipped and so we returned him to his owner who lived a mile away over the fields. The next day, the cat was on our doorstep again. We returned him. He came back. Eventually, bowing to the distasteful fact that his cat had found a home more to his liking, the owner gave us the cat, by this time settled into our sofa. "Just look at him" the owner growled. "I've given that animal 18 months of care and affection and he won't even make eye-contact." That's how it is with moggies. Just because they are chipped, it doesn't mean they want to go home.

WELL done, the England team for insisting on their right to wear the poppy of remembrance at this week's match against Scotland at Wembley. But while wearing the poppy is grand, there are other ways for footballers to demonstrate their patriotism. How about singing the National Anthem heartily for once? Or scoring more goals?

THE latest High Court ruling, effectively ordering the Government to tackle air pollution by imposing sanctions on diesels, is based on the medical claim that diesels contribute to 40,000 deaths a year. But how many medical "facts" survive more than a few years before being overturned? Only last week it was announced that an egg a day, once denounced as a deadly cholesterol time-bomb, may actually prevent strokes. I wouldn't be surprised over the next few years to see Whitehall tax every diesel car, van and lorry off the road – just in time for the doctors to announce that diesel fumes are good for us, after all.

THANKS for your continuing emails concerning near-misses with celebrities. Naturally, I have to take these on trust, no matter how unlikely. Even the one from a reader who claims his colleague shared a urinal with Shakin' Stevens.