Peter Rhodes: On the gay-wedding cake, the madness of two parliaments and panic-buying Marmite

OOPS. On Tuesday I foolishly suggested the Ukip "handbags at dawn" row happened at the European Parliament building in Brussels. It actually occurred at the European Parliament building in Strasbourg. At vast expense every week, the EU Parliament moves between the two buildings. Everyone knows it is madness. No-one knows how to stop it. You and I pay for it. But not for much longer.

"STOP and think" is the stern instruction on the Co-Op bank's latest leaflet to fight fraud. Sound advice. If only we all stopped and thought a little more, the scammers and con merchants would be history. So I stopped and thought and read the Co-Op leaflet. At the end it says that if you suspect fraud you should "Please contact us immediately." I looked for the contact details. How odd that in preparing this stop-and-think advice, no-one stopped and thought to provide a phone number.

IF the Belfast cake-shop trial is such a victory for gay rights, how come one of Britain's leading gay-rights activists is ashamed of it?This week the Court of Appeal in Belfast ruled that a Christian-owned cake shop which refused to ice a cake with a message supporting gay marriage was guilty of discrimination. Amid the inevitable rejoicing, the veteran equality campaigner Peter Tatchell breaks ranks. Originally behind the campaign, Tatchell has now changed his mind. He says: "This verdict is a defeat for freedom of expression. It seems that businesses cannot now lawfully refuse a customer's request to propagate a message, even if it is a sexist, xenophobic or anti-gay message and even if the business has a conscientious objection to it."

TATCHELL is a brave man, both physically and morally, and a personal hero of mine. On this issue he is quite right and the Belfast court is horribly wrong. This latest verdict paves the way for mischief. How long before a Zionist tries to order a cake with a big Star of David from a Muslim cake shop, and then rushes to court, crying "racism" if the order is refused? This is a can of worms and it would be bad enough if this case had come about by pure chance in the everyday business of buying and selling. But did it? The Belfast case is almost identical to a case involving the Christian owner of a cake shop in Colorado who was convicted under anti-discrimination laws after refusing to make a same-sex wedding cake. That case was followed keenly by the worldwide gay community. The attempted cake-purchase in Belfast came just a few weeks after the Colorado conviction in 2014. If that's a coincidence I'm Mary Berry. Was this row inspired by a desire to get a cake - or to get the Christians? The sooner the Supreme Court overturns this verdict, the better.

YES, I admit it. We've been out panic-buying Marmite. Ever since the Brexit-inspired price-rise spat a few weeks ago, we have lived in dread of running out of the stuff. I have therefore raided Waitrose and amassed enough Marmite to last us two years . One pot.

I BUMPED into a crowd of moorhen by the lake in the park and wondered what was the correct collective noun. It is apparently a plump of moorhen.

AND a scoop of journalists, since you ask.