Peter Rhodes: Nice bloke? Shame about the scumbags.

WHENEVER the Jeremy Corbyn re-election campaign turns nasty, the Dear Leader pops up looking suitably bemused and horrified. Why, Jeremy would never dream of saying anything anti semitic. Jeremy would never smash a window. Jeremy would never bully or intimidate anyone, because Jeremy, we are assured, is a really nice bloke. And yet there are plenty in his retinue who say and do the most unspeakable things.

LEN McCluskey, leader of the Unite union, has even suggested that some online abuse directed at Corbyn's critics may be the dark, underhand work of MI5, out to smear Mr Corbyn. Nice try, Len.

HAVE a look at The Word, produced by Jeremy Corbyn's supporters (not by MI5, Len) and crowd-funded by his fans. It is a newspaper written and published by named individuals which can be read by anyone including the Leader. For the amusement of the faithful, the current edition on sale for £1 across Britain contains a spoof astrology column which reads: "Taurus: This week we are touchy about big vehicles that plough through pedestrians. Leo: The star with the most influence over you is the Sun. If you're a soldier planning a trip to the Middle East / Brecon Beacons, a thermos of iced tea may save your life from Climate Change."

IT goes without saying that Jeremy would never make a joke about the lorry massacre in Nice or the tragic death of Cpl Josh Hoole on army training. But some of those supporting Corbyn are so out of touch with common decency that they see nothing wrong in mocking the dead. The question cannot be dodged. If Jeremy is a really nice bloke why do so many scumbags want him elected?

THE Alliance of British Drivers is threatening a legal challenge to driver-awareness courses. Good luck with that. It has always struck me as deeply dodgy that cops can allow drivers to avoid the lawful punishment for speeding and other offences by paying £100 or so to attend courses run, in the main, by retired cops. Is it even legal? The ABD says not: "There is no statutory support for this activity and it is contrary to law. In addition it is a perversion of justice for the police to waive prosecution on the basis of money being paid to them." If the ABD wins its case how many millions of drivers will be entitled to a refund?

I MUST take issue with the reader who says the dead and wounded of the First Day of the Somme are "60,000 reasons for voting to retain unity with our EU friends." It is wrong to enlist the warriors of 1916 as footsoldiers in a 2016 campaign that they would not support. Times and values have changed utterly. If we could meet the lads of 1914-18 we would find them rather sexist, racist and violent. They would find us soft, self-centred and unpatriotic. They would be horrified at Great Britain being ruled by laws made in Brussels. And many of them, I regret to report, would vote Ukip.

MEANWHILE, here's a quick quiz for those Bremainers who claim to be fervent Europeans, thoroughly immersed in the EU ideal and totally committed to ever-closer union. Over the past few days Theresa May has met the prime ministers of Ireland, Poland, Italy and Slovakia. Name one.