Peter Rhodes: Ding dong bell - and another £29 million spent

A VICAR in Leamington Spa has outraged some folk by planning to screen the "blasphemous" 1979 film Monty Python's Life of Brian in his church and charge £10 a head. And who wouldn't be outraged? As fans will recall from the film's encounter between Brian and the leper, the going rate for a life story is only half a denarius.

WHEN did we stop wearing black arm bands for mourning? In Antiques Uncovered (BBC2) the antiques expert Mark Hill, a man for whom the word "dapper" might have been invented, was wearing a Victorian example. Black armbands, first worn in the 18th century, were still around in the 1970s, as seen in a recent repeat of Whatever Happened to the Likely Lads, but I can't think when I last saw one in real life. Any recent sightings?

"NO taxation without representation" was the slogan of the American Revolution 250 years ago. It was coined by colonists who were furious at paying taxes to Britain when they had no representatives in Parliament. This week the Institute for Fiscal Studies revealed that, thanks to the UK tax threshold steadily rising from £6,475 to £10,600, almost half of all Britons now pay no income tax. So how long will it be before a majority of the electorate will be able to vote for the most extravagant programmes, knowing that it won't cost them a penny in income tax? Taxation without representation is bad but is representation without taxation any better?

MIND you, it has to be admitted there's precious little evidence that we, the tax-paying public, can keep our politicians in check. Their latest wheeze, to spend £29 million of our money restoring the mechanism of Big Ben, is both wicked and stupid. Wicked because it consumes a vast amount of public money that could be far better used. Stupid because, in an age of atomic clocks and digital sound systems, who in his right mind would rebuild a Victorian clock mechanism? It is as daft as replacing the House of Commons central heating with a Roman hypocaust. An intelligent Parliament would have updated Big Ben with a modern digital system for a fraction of the price. But we don't have an intelligent Parliament. We have a collection of financial incontinents obsessed with flashing other people's cash around. Ding Dong Bell / Isn't spending money swell?

DURING a school visit, a pupil asked Prince Harry whether he'd ever be king. The prince laughed and replied: "You'd be glad to know, probably not." And he's probably right. But succession is a strange thing and British history is an endless saga of the most improbable people wearing the crown. I wonder what odds you'd have got in 1926 against the newborn Princess Elizabeth making it to the throne. We could yet see a King Harry.

DONALD Trump promises a foreign policy based on fewer wars and common ground with China and Russia to create the most peaceful and prosperous century the world has ever seen. I can't see him selling that to the generals.

LATEST go-faster accessory for the jogger who has everything, according to the documentary Inside a Billionaire's Wardrobe (BBC2), is a pair of customised Nike trainers made of python skin at a cool £20,000. You may find them a little constricting.