Peter Rhodes: What's angry Joyce got to do with it?

AND yet more things misunderstood in childhood. A reader says she was puzzled to hear her mother referring to their daily pint of milk as "grey day." Grade A, as it turned out.

THEN there was the little boy, now grown up, who as a five-year-old, lustily joined in the hymn at morning assembly. The first line was straightforward enough: "All people that on Earth do dwell," but the second was a puzzle: "Come ye before him, angry Joyce."

MEANWHILE, back in the real world, I appear to be the only person who is utterly unshocked and unhorrified to learn that a prime minister who was the son of a millionaire, who was educated at Eton and Oxford and who married another millionaire, has lots of loot. That is the difference between rich people and the rest of us. They have more money.

AND here's a question for those crying scandal and hypocrisy and demanding full disclosure of David Cameron's income back to the cradle. Where was your outrage just over a year ago when we learned of the "deed of variation" used by the Miliband family to amend their father's will? Or are you perhaps suffering from SOS: Selective Outrage Syndrome?

JEREMY Corbyn represents the true voice of socialism which regards money as a state commodity and assumes that anybody with a lot of it has more than his share and must therefore be stealing from the rest of society. It is a perfectly valid philosophy, especially if you live on Planet Zog. The snag is that we humans get very attached to our money and would rather spend it on our loved ones than hand it over to Citizen Jeremy to shower on the underclass. If nothing else, this Cameron spat has created clear blue water between Labour and the Conservatives. Some Tories are now renewing their campaign to scrap inheritance tax altogether. Corbyn's Labour is considering imposing tax on gifts between parents and their children so that if you slipped your son £5,000 towards a deposit on a house, the taxman would take £2,000 of it. If this is what Corbyn has in mind then let's see it in Labour's manifesto for the next General Election.

I DARE say Corbyn will argue that his tax-on-gifts measures would only affect "the wealthy." The problem is that there is no proper definition of this term. A few years ago it was rumoured that, in Labour's smoke-filled rooms, "wealthy" meant anybody richer than John Prescott.

IT is probably worth staying up tonight to watch Channel 4's documentary What British Muslims Really Think. Based on a searching new opinion poll, it is presented by Trevor Phillips, former head of the Commission for Racial Equality. It reveals that while a majority of Muslims feel a strong sense of belonging to Britain, many despise liberal attitudes towards gays and sex equality and almost a quarter approve of sharia law being introduced in some areas of the UK. The trouble with surveys like this is that they lack what experts call a control group. It is all very well to tell us that 39 per cent of British Muslims believe a wife should always obey her husband. The unasked question is how many non-Muslim British blokes feel exactly the same.

VARIETY – that's the great thing about Channel 4. Tonight it's an in-depth probe into one of the great social and religious issues of the day. A couple of days back the same 10pm slot was reserved for Sex Box on erotic spanking. Hard-hitting journalism.