Peter Rhodes: A few words, your Majesty?

IN the space of a few days, Ant and Dec have interviewed the Prince of Wales and the Princes William and Harry, and the Duke of Edinburgh was interviewed on Radio 4's Today programme. The next step is blindingly obvious. How about the Queen herself agreeing to an interview?

SHE has been our head of state since 1952. She turns 90 in April. She still has all her marbles. And yet she has never agreed to be interviewed and we haven't the faintest idea what this remarkable woman thinks on any subject. It would not have to be a particularly probing interview. One of the Dimblebys, or perhaps Fiona Bruce, could submit a dozen questions to the Palace with Her Majesty having final approval on what is broadcast. It would hardly be ground-breaking journalism but it would be a fascinating social document, a brief insight into the thought processes of our longest-serving monarch, to be studied by historians hundreds of years from now. There would, of course be the usual objectors muttering about diminishing the majesty and the aura of the monarchy. But after all that we and Mrs Windsor have been through in the past 64 years, we know by now that the monarchy is not some sort of divine magic trick. It is our nation's lot and one woman's vocation and we really ought to hear that woman speaking her mind before it is too late.

SIDDHARTHA Dhar, the British man suspected of appearing in the latest Islamic State murder video, was arrested in London in 2014. He was accused of belonging to the banned group Al-Muhajiroun and released on police bail. A few hours later he and his family simply hopped on a bus to Paris and then travelled to IS-controlled Syria. You may like to ponder this the next time some grinning security official confiscates your shampoo at the airport, or some pompous politician thunders on about "protecting our borders." Dhar's case is yet more proof that, whether undesirables are coming or going, Britain's borders are about as secure as a colander.

E-CIGARETTES may soon be available on prescription to help smokers give up the habit. One of the biggest manufacturers of these vaping devices is British American Tobacco. Which means our beloved NHS could soon be handing millions of pounds of our taxes over to the fag-makers. What a wonderful world.

OUR local ford has just been fitted with £50,000 worth of warning lights to stop drivers writing off their cars when it floods. Sadly, no-one considered the consequences of a) litigation and b) human nature. In order to avoid any possible risk of being sued, the council has set the water-level alarm ludicrously low. The lights flash "Ford Impassable" when the water is so low that you still see the white-line markings. And then human nature takes over. If the car in front of you gets through safely, why not follow it? The temptation to risk it is exactly the same as it was before the £50,000 display was installed. Still, it's only money.

THE best line in the retro-Sherlock episode The Abominable Bride (BBC1) sounded like authentic 19th century Conan Doyle but I can't find it among any online collection of Holmes's quotes, so presumably it's new. Holmes tells Watson: "Fear is wisdom in the face of danger. It is nothing to be ashamed of." What a wonderful mantra for us cowards.