The rising cost of old age

WHEN I entered journalism, some time between the demise of the dinosaurs and the rise of Rod Stewart, we had precisely one centenarian on our patch. She was a rare and precious thing and I interviewed her on her 100th birthday, her 101st and her 102nd. Then she died. Today, Britain has more than 13,000 people aged 100 or more, and rising fast.

ONE of the smarter things the Establishment did was to decide that the appropriate recognition for reaching 100 was a card signed by Her Majesty, costing a few pence. In Japan, centenarians get a silver bowl worth £37. It may not sound expensive but Japan has 30,000 100-year-olds each year, with tens of thousands more on the way. It is reported that the Japanese government, faced with a huge bill for bowls, is considering replacing them with "a congratulatory letter." Where Buckingham Palace leads, Tokyo follows.

STILL out East, how will the collapse of the stock market in China affect us? According to the experts, your energy bills could get smaller. Petrol could get cheaper. Mortgage rates could stay low for longer. Funny sort of crisis.

I SMILED at a feature in one of those "Your Money" supplements in which a couple, both aged 42, wanted advice on how best to save for their "gap year" treat. It is to be a round-the-world trip, with their daughter who is now aged two, when Mum and Dad are 60. The financial gurus duly gave their advice on stocks, shares and Isas. And not one of them raised the question every parent was surely shouting at the page: What sort of 20-year-old girl will be seen dead with her aged parents on a globe-trotting jaunt? The two-year-old moppet you know and love today will be nothing like the self-willed woman 18 years away. Spend the money now.

AND off for a day's self-improvement at Compton Verney, the stately home in south Warwickshire. It is today a magnificent art gallery, thanks largely to the philanthropy of Sir Peter Moores, the former Littlewoods boss. There are some dazzling still-life studies, Italian landscapes and jaw-droppingly ancient Chinese pottery. But the gallery I loved was "British folk art," devoted to some rough-and-ready artefacts and paintings by artists who didn't quite understand perspective but painted with pure passion. You could spend a lot of time gazing at an 1850 watercolour by an unknown artist commemorating the bare-fist bout between Fred Higgitt and the fighter known as the West Bromwich Sweep. The Sweep won in one hour and 20 minutes by which time, if the picture is any guide, half his face was pulped. His top-hatted manager briskly tends his wounds. Ah, the good old days . . .

HAVE you noticed how, after the Glasgow bin-lorry disaster, no-one has rushed to dismiss the Shoreham air-show tragedy as a blameless accident? This time, let's hear the facts before drawing any conclusions.

THE Chief Constable of Avon & Somerset, Nick Gargan, has been asked to resign on eight counts of misconduct. On the day he was suspended, the chief was allegedly tweeting jokes. After warning his followers to "stand by for a Tommy Cooper classic," he tweeted: "Police arrested two kids yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off." So that's nine counts of misconduct if you count the reckless misuse of cherished old gags.