Peter Rhodes: Race – a black and white issue?

I DO apologise for yet another reference to Life of Brian but every passing day seems to see the Monty Python movie's silliness becoming the new norm. In the 1979 film, the would-be revolutionary Stan (Eric Idle) demands to be known as Loretta on the grounds that "It's every man's right to be a woman." Now, an American civil-rights activist, Rachel Dolezal, who for years has claimed to be black, has been outed as white by her all-white parents. Totally unfazed, Dolezal tells the media that: "I consider myself black." Remember, comrades, it is every white woman's right to be a black woman. Stan / Loretta would understand.

I SUGGESTED my Campaign for Real Authentic Plumbing was doomed by its own initials. A reader writes to tell me he used the same initials for a small social club formed in the 1990s by four metal merchants in the Black Country. It rejoiced in the name of the Cradley Recyclers And Processors club and even had its own initialled badge. Classy, or what?

RIGHT. So Talha Asmal, the 17-year-old suicide bomber from Dewsbury, was led astray by unknown "groomers" on the internet. Really? All the Islamic State groomers we have seen on telly so far have been easily identified British Muslim kids who have gone to Iraq or Syria and are eagerly Tweeting their mates to join them. They seem drawn not by religious fervour but by the ease of acquiring in a few days material possessions which would take a lifetime of hard work back home. Come to Islamic State, goes the sales pitch, and you get a car (stolen), a house (the owner's been executed), plenty of food, daily entertainment in the form of beheadings and even a pretty little Yazidi "bride" (or rape victim, as they call them back in Dewsbury). So who contacted Talha Asmal and enticed him to Syria? What was he promised? And over the past few months has this alleged innocent been in contact with his pals back home, doing some grooming of his own?

I REFERRED on Monday to the London Tube bombings of July 5, 2005. It was, of course, July 7.

IT'S happening on Saturday. Meet at the Bank of England. Masks will be provided. No demonstration in recent times has had more advance publicity than the anti-austerity one billed as "the poll-tax riot with knobs on," planned for London three days from now. The police have had months to prepare. There are no excuses for losing control.

THE right thing to say on first beholding the beautiful, charming, ever-compliant robot Anita in Humans (C4) is: "This looks like a fascinating study of human and robotic relationships in the near future."

THE wrong thing to say on first beholding the beautiful, charming, ever-compliant robot Anita in Humans (C4) is: "I want one."

AND yet, given that online porn has already destroyed thousands of relationships, who can guess what havoc humanoid robots might wreak in the not-too-distant future? Imagine, ladies, the joys of a slim-hipped permanent 25-year-old house-warrior who worships you, never picks his nose, does the washing and lawn-mowing joyfully and is genuinely fascinated by your tales of what Molly in HR said to Fran in Accounts that morning. Imagine, gentlemen. . . . On second thoughts, there is no need to entice men to imagine what sort of robots they'd like. They need no encouragement.