Unleashing a boycott

A BEAUTIFUL spring sight as two big hares celebrated March by being mad. They were bouncing around our lane in the traditional bonkers fashion until they saw me only 20 yards away and took fright. One fled one way, the other bounded in the opposite direction. Please don't accuse me of splitting hares.

I START each day with a pot of proper tea. The loose leaves are steeped in freshly boiled water for a full five minutes and the result is glorious. But as the day picks up speed, I get lazy, reach for the teabags and dunk 'em for a few seconds. As the British Science Association pointed out this week, the substance we Brits love to call "tea" is hardly worth the name.

BUT this love of second-rate stuff is a fine English tradition. When tea first arrived in this country it was heavily adulterated with all sorts of substances. As the quality improved, the tea companies sent out experts to show the Brits how to make it properly. But as Stephen Mennell pointed out in his 1985 book All Manners of Food: "In the 19th century it was found that many of the British working class, after having their bread, their tea and their pickles adulterated with poisonous substances for decades, actually preferred them that way to the taste of the pure product."

ONE of the best comments I have seen on the Clarkson "get me steak!" fracas was a brief letter in the Independent from someone who had watched surgeons emerging from operating theatres in the early hours. Having saved lives, they expected nothing more than a sandwich from the staff cafe.

THE gay Italian designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana declare that "the only family is a traditional one" and that the children of same-sex parents are "synthetic". Elton John disagrees thundering: "How dare you refer to my beautiful children as 'synthetic'? And shame on you for wagging your judgmental little fingers at IVF." So far, so good. I happen to agree with him and a robust exchange of views is the essence of a civilisation based on freedom of speech. But then Sir Elton goes over the top by signing off: "BoycottDolceGabbana.." A clutch of celebrities join his campaign. Supposing this boycott took off globally and D&G's income fell sharply. When a company has a cash crisis, the first to suffer are the employees. So how many lowly designers, cutters and embroiderers would have to lose their jobs before Sir Elton's rage was satisfied? Celebrities have enormous influence and a boycott can be a terrible, blunt weapon. After the Charlie Hebdo tragedy, I thought the civilised world had re-stated its belief in freedom of expression. That means the expression of all views, not merely those we happen to share.

ON Today (Radio 4) yesterday, Labour's shadow chancellor Ed Balls said he would not reverse anything in George Osborne's Tory Budget. Here, in one throwaway line, is proof that there's really damn-all difference between them. Believe me, the Tory/Labour Coalition is only a matter of time.

I PICKED up a copy of Countryfile magazine in an NHS waiting room this week to read that Terry Pratchett was offering a reward to nab those responsible for shooting swans in Somerset. It seemed a remarkable gesture from a man so close to death. Turned out the magazine was dated April 2011. I wonder how many germs it has collected since then.