If they're on the radar, why aren't they on a plane?

FIGHTING appears to have decreased in the Donetsk region of Eastern Ukraine. Or as it will be known this time next year, Russia.

IN the ITV series For The love of Dogs, Paul O'Grady introduced us to Twinkle, a mistreated, malnourished lurcher who was nursed back to health at Battersea Dogs & Cats Home and then sent off to spend the rest of her life with new owners - in France. As if she hadn't suffered enough.

AT my local Wilko store the staff are wearing T-shirts in support of the British Heart Foundation (slogan: "Fight for every heartbeat."). Meanwhile, the store is promoting its range of frying pans (slogan: "You can't beat a good fry up.") Tiny contradiction?

WITH a genteel show of hands, the Church of England has got rid of the Devil, removing all mention of him from a new service of baptism. The justification is that "references to the devil are likely to be misunderstood in today's culture." However, the change creates an even bigger dilemma. If there is no Devil, what is the point of God?

THE double-murderer in Copenhagen is said to have been "on the radar" of the security service. Maybe it's time to turn "on the radar" into "on the next plane out of here."

I WONDER how long it will be before an abject British government apologises for the bombing of Dresden 70 years ago and pays compensation, to the accompaniment of the Archbishop of Canterbury solemnly begging forgiveness for the wickedness of Bomber Command. Poor, defenceless, Dresden, destroyed by the Brits and Yanks when Germany was on the verge of defeat and the war was almost over. Except it wasn't quite like that. In 1944-45 more than 8,000 German V1 flying bombs and 3,000 V2 rockets were raining down on Britain and Belgium. Between them the V-weapons, fired toward London at the rate of up to 100 a day, killed more than 15,000 civilians and maimed tens of thousands more. They were still being lobbed into southern England at the end of March 1945, more than a month after the Dresden bombings. The Allied aim in early 1945 was to end the war as quickly as possible. To judge the decisions of 1945 from the cosy, self-righteous security of 2015 is pointless and perverse. There is nothing quite like a V2 crashing in English streets to concentrate minds. I will never forget the testimony of a passer-by, then a teenager, who rushed to the Guards Chapel in London where a single V1 struck during a Sunday service, killing 121 worshippers. The lad spent the rest of the day helping pull bodies and body parts from the rubble. He never forgot what he saw, touched and smelt that day. He was my father.

A READER describes 85 minutes with the NHS. He arrived for his hospital appointment 20 minutes earlier to be sure of a parking place. His appointment time came and went. He spent 40 minutes sitting in one waiting room and was then directed to a cubicle where he spent another 20 minutes. Then he was ushered into the consultant's room for a five-minute chat to be told he is cured and needs no more treatment. The parking bill was £4. Would the sky fall in if doctors simply used the phone?

OF all the many reviews of That Film, this one caught my eye: "Fifty Shades of Grey, as erotic as being lashed with old Y-fronts." Go on, you know you want to try it.