Why loo doors open inwards

A READER asks why the toilet doors at his local supermarket open inwards. Having washed his hands, he has to pull the door towards him, touching the "filthy" door handle in the process. True, the outward-opening door sounds better. Until that awful moment when you are seated on the loo and the door, which you have not properly locked, suddenly opens away from you. No-one in Sainsbury's will ever forget you.

WELL, of course the Scots voted to stay in the United Kingdom. Why would anybody ever vote to leave the English? We are such lovely, lovely people. Now, what can we do to get Ireland back?

IN the meantime, isn't it nice to switch on the telly or the radio and not hear quite so many Scottish voices? Nae offence, lads, but it did drag on a bit.

ROBERT Burns famously wrote: "O wad some Pow'r the giftie gie us / To see oursels as ithers see us!" So how did our European neighbours see the United Kingdom as the referendum came and went? I was quite moved by this assessment of the UK and its people by the popular German newspaper Der Spiegel: "They are a model, liberal multi-cultural society that is open to the world." The word that springs to mind is generous.

AT about the time Andy Murray was voicing his support for the Yes vote in Scotland, the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, was admitting that he sometimes doubts whether God exists. No such doubts assailed the emailer to a Scottish newspaper who recalled that, as a child, Murray survived the 1996 Dunblane massacre. The writer declared triumphantly: "The Good Lord saved Andy Murray that day for a moment just like this." So let's get this right. The Almighty allowed 16 children to be shot dead at Dunblane but spared little Andy in order that, nearly 20 years later as a successful tennis star, he could support Scottish independence. You can see why the archbishop is occasionally troubled by the idea of a deity who inspires this sort of belief. The question is not whether God exists but whether you'd really want to associate with him.

WHATEVER happened to our race memory? Over the years dozens of pyramid scams have left thousands of Brits seriously out of pocket. Yet instead of learning the lesson, and passing on a warning to others, there seems a constant supply of gullible customers. In the latest scam, known as "Give and Take," six women from the Bristol area have been convicted. It's an old, old story. They urged others to "beg, borrow or steal" £3,000 each on the promise that they would quickly make more than £20,000. As with all pyramid schemes, simple maths took over and 90 per cent of the 10,000 punters lost their money. Have we all got the message by now? Are we a wiser and more cautious nation? Of course not. Before long another pyramid scheme will emerge and hundreds more clots will be rooked. When it comes to a mental struggle between wisdom and greed, it's greed that usually prevails.

SOMEHOW you just can't ignore the headline: "School cops give up grenade launchers." It relates to a report from Los Angeles where armed police routinely patrol schools. The latest batch of hardware supplied by the federal government included a number of 40mm grenade launchers. After some discussion, the school authorities decided "we would not utilise this weapon within a school environment." They are, however, hanging on to a landmine-resistant armoured vehicle. Can't be too careful when you're dealing with Year Five.