How one line could totally change a classic film

ACCORDING to sources in Whitehall, the aim of Nato exercises in eastern Europe is to show Russia that we "mean business." One hundred years ago Austria showed that it meant business. Then Russia showed that it, too, meant business. Germany and France felt obliged to show that they also meant business. And finally Great Britain showed that it meant business. The result, over the next four years, was 10 million fine young men slain on the battlefields of Europe.

MIND you, the First World War turned out to be very good for business. At the start of the war in 1914 the British Army possessed just 80 lorries. By 1918 it had 60,000. It was a very good time to be making lorries. Or uniforms, boots, poison gas and barbed wire.

ANOTHER interesting Great War fact. On the outbreak of war, Foreign Secretary Sir Edward Grey uttered the most memorable words of the conflict: The lamps are going out all over Europe. We shall not see them lit again in our lifetime." Later he claimed he had no recollection of saying it.

ONE hundred years ago, no-one could have imagined that Britons in 2014 would remember the Great War with such passion. That's not surprising. In 1914, memories quickly faded because average life expectancy was only about 47. Today it is about 80. Back then, most people did not live to see 65. Today, we have 10.3 million Brits aged over 65. Today's senior citizens may not remember the Great War but many millions of them clearly remember the old soldiers of 1914-18 and their widows. As our population ages, our race-memory grows longer. Some children born in 2000 will remember seeing the oldest Great War soldier Harry Patch, who died aged 111 just five years ago. A few of them will carry that memory into the 22nd century. The promise "We will remember them" has a potency today that the folk of 1914 could never begin to imagine.

A SCRIPT for Gone With the Wind, to be auctioned next month, contains an alternative ending to Scarlett O'Hara's immortal line: "After all, tomorrow is another day." In the alternative version which was considered but never filmed, Scarlett (Vivien Leigh) shouts to Rhett (Clark Gable): "Rhett! You'll come back . . . I know you will." So here's the challenge. Can you come up with a last line for Scarlett which totally alters the tone of the classic 1939 movie? My favourite so far is: "Rhett! If you're going by the chippy get us a saveloy."

TWO police firearms officers in Durham are being investigated for allegedly using a crowbar to dispatch a deer injured in a road accident instead of using their weapons. I can think of three good reasons why they chose the crowbar. Firstly, it is probably just as effective as a bullet. Secondly, bullets have a nasty tendency to go straight through small animals and ricochet dangerously. Thirdly (and I bet this was the clincher), as anyone familiar with firearms knows, once you discharge your pistol you have to clean it.

NICK Clegg, the deputy prime minister, says financial inducements such as a brief cut in council tax might make people feel more positive about so-called "garden cities" being built on their doorsteps. Here's a better idea, Nick. Start treating the UK's soaring population seriously. Get a grip on migration. Restrict child benefit to two children per family. Then we might not need new cities.

WHAT do green cities, eco cities and garden cities have in common? They're all cities. Don't be fooled.