Where are the children of the Somme survivors?

AS the First World War commemorations reach their climax, a reader raises a fascinating question. Who is the youngest child of a veteran of the 1916 Battle of the Somme? He believes his sister, aged 70, is a contender. However, many Somme veterans were still around in the 1980s and some may have married more than once. It is perfectly possible that someone alive today in their 60s or even their 50s had a father who went over the top on July 1, 1916.

LEST we forget, the last widow of a soldier who fought in the 1861-65 American Civil war, Maudie Hopkins of Arkansas, died in 2008. In 1934 when she was just 19 she married 86-year-old William M Cantrell, a veteran of the Confederate Army.

BLACK cats are said to be suddenly unpopular, partly because they do not photograph well in selfies. According to the RSPCA, today's most popular cat colour is ginger. What a strange society it is that cherishes ginger cats but makes fun of ginger humans.

FOR some of us, the only cat worth considering is a tabby, the closest thing you can get to a wild animal without a licence. The camouflage is amazing. Our tabby sits on the log pile and becomes invisible, as the sparrow that landed next to him would testify, had it not become breakfast.

WHERE are the police when you really need them? If you happen to live in Dorset, the answer could be that they're busy nicking folk like Wayne Duke. The 34-year-old drives a classic 1969 Dodge Charger and, according to reports, was taking a bride and groom to their reception when he sounded his Dixie-tune air horn. A police car promptly pulled him over. Mr Duke says he didn't know the horn was illegal and you might think, as it was a wedding day, the police would have let him off with a gentle warning. Instead they handed him a summons to appear in court. The story has sparked an internet storm of "haven't the police got anything better to do?" I am a wee bit suspicious. This sounds like one of those silly-season yarns where we are not being told the whole story. Is Mr Duke perhaps a serial horn-blower? All will doubtless be revealed. But if this incident is as heavy handed as it is reported to be, then God help noisy drivers in Dorset. As one emailer asks: "What about the ice-cream vans?"

WHEN geeky, gawky Ed Miliband acknowledged his weird looks and admitted he'd never win a photo-opportunity, he was trying to stress his deeper, invisible qualities. I was reminded of Iain Duncan Smith's darkest hour in 2003. The then Tory leader growled: "Do not underestimate the determination of a quiet man." But it was a quiet, desperate sort of growl and it didn't work the miracle. One pundit labelled IDS "the quiet man who has much to be quiet about." It will probably be the same with Miliband. To be fair, there are a number of reasons why someone may appear weird. They may have inherited a shifty look. They may possess an awkward sort of face. They may have a deep-rooted problem with bacon sandwiches. But one of the commonest reasons for a bloke looking weird is that he is weird.

EVEN so, prepare for the weird man entering Number Ten. The constituency boundaries are now so unfair that any Labour leader in the past 100 years could beat the Tories. With the obvious exception of Neil Kinnock.