Who's responsible for a child's rotten teeth?

IN theory, six penalty points for using a mobile phone while driving, as proposed by Whitehall this week, will be a huge deterrent. In real life, what sort of deterrent will it take to make the woman I saw the other day think twice? She was texting while driving - in a convertible with the hood down. Bold as brass which, strangely enough, was the colour of her hair.

AN "inspirational" letter sent to kids at a Lancashire school has gone viral. In it, the teachers declare that exam results aren't everything, because examiners "do not know that you can play a musical instrument or that you can dance or paint a picture. They do not know that your friends count on you to be there for them or that your laughter can brighten the dreariest day." The Guardian hailed it as a "tender and unusual letter." And yet to anyone with an inquiring mind, it didn't seem quite right. There was something a bit odd about it, especially the reference to kids visiting "neat places." Hardly sounds like Lancashire, does it? Sure enough, the letter turns out to be a rehash of a cheesy, feelgood missive which has been doing the rounds in American schools for years. So what's the real message? Never mind, kids. If you don't know what to say, just go online and cut-and-paste something.

NO punches pulled this week by the British Dental Health Foundation. It says that some parents are not paying enough attention to the importance of their child's teeth and accuses them of "child neglect." Whoah there, chaps. The days are long gone when you can blame parents for anything. If kids have rotten teeth, it must be because tooth decay is caused by the environment, deprivation, genes, Government cuts, poor teachers, climate change, the decline of religion, allergy, not enough bobbies on the beat or some unspecified glandular condition. All my kidza got bad teef so it can't be my fault, innit?

AS the debate on euthanasia rages, with church leaders now dividing on the issue, I am reminded of a single comment in a radio debate years ago. An experienced hospice nurse, infuriated by constant references to the voluntary nature of mercy-killing, pointed out that the easiest way to make patients request "voluntary" euthanasia was to stop giving them painkillers. The nightmare prospect is of patients being put under pressure, by doctors eager to free up hospital beds and family members who are also beneficiaries of the will. The law on assisted suicide is being championed by good, well-meaning people. And yet I fear that if it goes ahead the last words some old people will hear on this planet will be on the lines of : "For God's sake, Gran, you're costing us £1,000 a week in this home. Now, just drink it down."

AH, the wisdom of age. An 85-year-old granny in Brighton has become one of the oldest British drivers to be convicted , fined and banned for driving over the limit. Does she express remorse? Does she urge younger people to be warned by her example? Does she even apologise? Nah. Granny tells the world: "I can have one drink and it will have no effect on me whatsoever. I know what my limit is. I don't think I have done anything wrong." Honestly, the old people of today. . .

THANKS for your emails on things your moggies have dragged through the cat flap. Strangest so far are the "mole salad," which was delivered with a big bunch of grass, and a whole plaice.