Cause for concern?

AFTER last week's reference to odd job titles, a reader tells me his all-time favourite is Global Thought Leadership Manager. All contributions gratefully received, going forward.

DRAMA works best when it is believable. Line of Duty (BBC2), a shocking tale of police corruption, was so compulsively gripping because, in the wake of Hillsborough, the Stephen Lawrence inquiry and the latest allegations of "rogue detectives" in the Met, we know that some cops are rotten apples. So you would think by now that politicians and senior police officers would be desperate to avoid situations where policing can be tainted by money. Not so. The relentless growth of "driver awareness" courses should set alarm bells ringing.

DRIVER-awareness courses have become a multi-million pound industry by effectively replacing the due process of law, in the form of fines and penalty points, with one-day sessions run by companies or local councils. Originally these courses were offered only to speeders but now they have been extended to cover lane-hoggers, tailgaters and other offenders. A Freedom of Information request a few days ago reveals that 5,472 drivers have been caught using the new powers in the past six months. Some drivers are offered courses costing up to £180 as an alternative to a £100 fine and three penalty points. This system creates conditions where nicking a driver, sometimes on the opinion of a single officer, can generate business for a private company running driving courses. A senior officer has only to order a blitz on inconsiderate driving to create thousands or even millions of pounds' worth of trade. Of course, corruption is unlikely. But why create the conditions where it might even be possible?

TO make it worse the use of awareness courses for "inconsiderate" driving appears to be a postcode lottery. Scotland and Nottinghamshire alone have accounted for nearly 2,500 of the 5,472 stops but five constabularies have declined to use the new powers at all. And you thought we were all equal before the law?

TELEVISION comedy constantly evolves but radio comedy is endlessly familiar, like a comfy old sweater. Take this exchange a few days ago in Another Case of Milton Jones (Radio 4). It could have come from the Goon Show, I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again, Round the Horne or any other great radio comedy of the past 60 years:

"I've just seen the most amazing production of Wind in the Willows."

"So you had the children's menu, too?"

Neddie Seagoon would have loved it.

THIRTY days hath September? A reader sends me the leaflet her local council stuck through the door listing wheelie-bin collections until December. One is scheduled for Wednesday, September 31.

A POLL of 2,000 Brits suggests we are hooked on superstitions or, as one headline puts it: "We are more likely to believe in the supernatural than God." So what exactly is the difference between superstition and God? Simple. Other people's gods are superstitions. Your own god is the real thing. Hallelujah.

A MASSIVE rat, trapped and killed in a kitchen in Stockholm, is the talk of all Sweden. Nicknamed Ratzilla, the 17-inch monster terrorised the household. One agency reported: "Even the family cat had refused to enter the kitchen while the giant rat was in residence." But is that so surprising? Most cats are terrible cowards. I only ever knew one moggie who hunted and killed rats. He was our motheaten and battle-scarred old tabby, Fairclough. He, in every sense, had balls.

MORE from Milton Jones: "I think I may be suffering from attention defi – look at those clouds!"