Peter Rhodes: Could the internet go the way of the Sinclair C5?

THE joys of country living. The septic-tank man arrived yesterday with a new sales logo on his tanker: "You eject it, we'll collect it!" Charming. I believe it's an extract from Keats' Ode to a Honeywagon.

THIS was the night, 50 years ago. A reader recalls he was watching Dr No in his local cinema on Friday, November 22, 1963, when a message appeared on the screen that President Kennedy was dead.

DO cinemas still put public-service announcements on the screen. When did you last see one?

THERE is talk in Hollywood about making a sequel to the Christmas classic It's a Wonderful Life. And good luck to them. So long as no-one tampers in any way with a movie which, for my money, is far superior. If you want a truly memorable Yule with nostalgic echoes of everything in your childhood from school bullying to the ultimate Christmas present, get a DVD of Bob Clark's little gem from 1983, A Christmas Story. Perfect.

IN THE space of a few hours this week I received two emails, apparently from BT, about changes to the email system. Both turned out to be bogus, part of a "phishing" scam to pick up personal details. The internet seems to get more dangerous every day, like a dark, growing forest with robbers behind every tree. I sometimes wonder how long the internet will last. Unless security is massively improved, the day may come when, like airships and Sinclair C5s, it will be seen as too dangerous for most folk to contemplate.

MIDDLE-class shoplifters are apparently the scourge of our age as supermarkets report a sudden increase in shoplifting for expensive products such as parmesan cheese and joints of beef. Something called the Global Retail Theft Barometer reports that theft from shops in the UK now costs us £3,400 million a year, or about £124 per household. It is a colossal sum but what did the politicians expect when they effectively decriminalised shoplifting? Gone are the days when shoplifters were hauled before the courts to have their dishonesty dissected in public and their convictions printed in the local newspaper. Oh, the shame. These days a first-time shoplifter(and they always claim it's their first time) caught nicking items worth less than £100 is issued with a PND, a Penalty Notice of Disorder which is little more than a fixed-penalty fine. Pay £80 and you'll hear no more about it. This is probably the biggest bargain in the supermarket. If you go shoplifting a dozen times before you get caught and then get stung for £80, you're well into profit. Is it any wonder that thousands of people no longer regard shoplifting as a crime and look slightly puzzled if you suggest, heaven forbid, they should be ashamed of themselves?

FOR a snapshot of modern attitudes to theft from stores, have a look at that great national barometer, the Sky News website where one contributor thunders: "The only answer to this problem is to FIGHT for a DECENT WAGE." Actually, there is another answer. Try leading a decent, honest life and keeping your sticky fingers off other people's property.

MEANWHILE, it emerged this week that we are heading for the most debt-ridden Christmas of all time. Total UK personal debt stands at £1.43 trillion or if you prefer, £1,430,000,000,000. Average debt per British household is now £54,000, double the level of a decade ago. And just when you're thinking of doing something really desperate (like paying off some of your debts), along comes a couple of new credit cards, announced this week, which don't charge any interest for the first 15 months. Just think of the debt you can rack up before things turn nasty. Just what we need - the lead lifejacket.