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Mark Andrews: Shabana's £40,000 asylum giveaway, World Book Day, and how Trump should choose Iran's next leader

I'm thinking of starting up a side-hustle in people trafficking, to take advantage of the Home Secretary's new plan to encourage enterprise.

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Shabana's £40,000 asylum giveaway, World Book Day, and how Trump should choose Iran's next leader

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Aliens, ski-jumpers with big packages, and our brave new world under Zack Polanski

Mark Andrews: Aliens, ski-jumpers with big packages, and our brave new world under Zack Polanski

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Heckling the King, and why the Equality Act is about as British as a branch of Aldi

Mark Andrews: Heckling the King, and why the Equality Act is about as British as a branch of Aldi

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Lowering the drink-drive limit, Jimmy Lai, and the real menace on the road

Mark Andrews: Lowering the drink-drive limit, Jimmy Lai, and the real menace on the road

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: The mysterious powers of Peter Mandelson, and arguing with an AI chatbot about a vacuum cleaner filter

Mark Andrews: The mysterious powers of Peter Mandelson, and arguing with an AI chatbot about a vacuum cleaner filter

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Brooklyn's privacy conundrum, computers in schools, and Lanyards 1, Hero bus driver 0

Mark Andrews: Brooklyn's privacy conundrum, computers in schools, and Lanyards 1, Hero bus driver 0

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: No more slogans, PM's defence challenge, and why Trump may have shown us how to erase the national debt

Mark Andrews: No more slogans, PM's defence challenge, and why Trump may have shown us how to erase the national debt

More Mark Andrews stories

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Police chief Craig Guildford auditions for The Thick of It, China's new embassy, and a peaceful way for Donald Trump to take over Greenland

Mark Andrews: Police chief Craig Guildford auditions for The Thick of It, China's new embassy, and a peaceful way for Donald Trump to take over Greenland

Supporting image for story: 'Life in Dudley has been 40 years of hurt' - Mark Andrews on why his beloved town has been damaged by Merry Hill

'Life in Dudley has been 40 years of hurt' - Mark Andrews on why his beloved town has been damaged by Merry Hill

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Trump's sour grapes, Storm Goretti, and when did shoplifting become socially acceptable?

Mark Andrews: Trump's sour grapes, Storm Goretti, and when did shoplifting become socially acceptable?

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Indiana Jones was a TV turn-off, and questions about whether the PM understands the private sector

Mark Andrews: Indiana Jones was a TV turn-off, and questions about whether the PM understands the private sector

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Never mind the Ruskies, it's the robots that worry me. And why Nigel Farage was wrong about Alf Garnett.

Mark Andrews: Never mind the Ruskies, it's the robots that worry me. And why Nigel Farage was wrong about Alf Garnett.

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Joey Barton is the tip of a poisonous iceberg that is contaminating social media

Mark Andrews: Joey Barton is the tip of a poisonous iceberg that is contaminating social media

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Why my combi boiler was a mistake, and John Major only has himself to blame about Brexit

Mark Andrews: Why my combi boiler was a mistake, and John Major only has himself to blame about Brexit

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: MPs contend with an outdated gym, Alf Garnett's mansion tax, and Rachel's troublesome Uncle Terry

Mark Andrews: MPs contend with an outdated gym, Alf Garnett's mansion tax, and Rachel's troublesome Uncle Terry

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Mandelson takes a leak, the problem with Shabana's asylum plan, and why I favour building a town even more horrible than Milton Keynes

Mark Andrews: Mandelson takes a leak, the problem with Shabana's asylum plan, and why I favour building a town even more horrible than Milton Keynes

Supporting image for story: Mark Andrews: Small boats v private jets, institutional bias at the BBC, and why the PM has copped a wrong 'un on police commissioners

Mark Andrews: Small boats v private jets, institutional bias at the BBC, and why the PM has copped a wrong 'un on police commissioners

UK News

Supporting image for story: Rowers raising funds for charity stop in Northern Ireland to shelter from storm

Rowers raising funds for charity stop in Northern Ireland to shelter from storm

Supporting image for story: Early referral of Noah case to specialist unit ‘unusual but justified’ – inquest

Early referral of Noah case to specialist unit ‘unusual but justified’ – inquest

Supporting image for story: Unst residents to have first call on seats to view spaceport’s rocket launches

Unst residents to have first call on seats to view spaceport’s rocket launches

Supporting image for story: Senior midwife Donna Ockenden to chair Leeds maternity services investigation

Senior midwife Donna Ockenden to chair Leeds maternity services investigation

Supporting image for story: Who is Anthony Russell? Inmate charged with murdering child killer Ian Huntley in prison attack was behind bars for monstrous West Midlands crimes

Who is Anthony Russell? Inmate charged with murdering child killer Ian Huntley in prison attack was behind bars for monstrous West Midlands crimes

Supporting image for story: Reeves says she might raise mileage rates for drivers using cars for work

Reeves says she might raise mileage rates for drivers using cars for work

Viral News

Supporting image for story: Man’s ‘disbelief’ after five-year quest for rare book ends in local Oxfam shop

Man’s ‘disbelief’ after five-year quest for rare book ends in local Oxfam shop

Supporting image for story: Inventive West Midlands dad turns car into amphibious vehicle by fitting 5ft snorkel

Inventive West Midlands dad turns car into amphibious vehicle by fitting 5ft snorkel

Supporting image for story: Charity campaigner flies to America for 3,000-mile ‘tartan trek’

Charity campaigner flies to America for 3,000-mile ‘tartan trek’

Supporting image for story: 'I was a shopaholic with £15k of debt - but now I get my dopamine hit from saving'

'I was a shopaholic with £15k of debt - but now I get my dopamine hit from saving'

Supporting image for story: Charity offers ‘extraordinary’ opportunity to work in remote part of Highlands

Charity offers ‘extraordinary’ opportunity to work in remote part of Highlands

Supporting image for story: What a yarn! Knitting entrepreneur casts off for Atlantic charity row

What a yarn! Knitting entrepreneur casts off for Atlantic charity row

World News

Supporting image for story: Death Valley superbloom brings once-in-a-decade blossoming of wildflowers

Death Valley superbloom brings once-in-a-decade blossoming of wildflowers

Supporting image for story: Iran launches new attacks as US warns of ‘most intense day of strikes’

Iran launches new attacks as US warns of ‘most intense day of strikes’

Supporting image for story: TUI and Jet2 issues updated statements on flights to Cyprus from East Midlands Airport as Middle East war continues

TUI and Jet2 issues updated statements on flights to Cyprus from East Midlands Airport as Middle East war continues

Supporting image for story: Two Dubai flights cancelled at Birmingham Airport - as Foreign Office issues new UAE travel warning

Two Dubai flights cancelled at Birmingham Airport - as Foreign Office issues new UAE travel warning

Supporting image for story: Flights temporarily halted at Dubai Airport as air raid sirens sound amid missile threat

Flights temporarily halted at Dubai Airport as air raid sirens sound amid missile threat

Supporting image for story: Trump says Iran war could be over soon but warns against oil disruption

Trump says Iran war could be over soon but warns against oil disruption