Christmas whisky warning: Toby Neal's festive tale of drinking responsibly and the classic Wolverhampton humour of the multi-talented Roger Squires
Please drink responsibly this Christmas and don't do as I did when my wife told me to pour all my whisky away.
I unscrewed the top from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass which I drank.
I unscrewed the top from the second bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass, which I drank.
I unscrewed the top of the third bottle and emptied the good old booze down the sink except for one glass which I drank.
I unscrewed the top from the fourth sink and poured the bottle down the glass which I drank.
I pulled the bottle from the top of the next and drank one sink out of it and poured the rest down the glass.
I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the contents down the bottle. I pulled the top from the glass and poured the sink down the bottle, and drank the glass and unscrewed the sink with the glass, bottled the drink, and drank the out.
When I had everything emptied I steadied the house with one hand and counted the bottles and tops and glasses with the other, which came to 29. To make sure, I counted them again, when they came by, and I had had 74, and as the house came by I counted them again.
Once I had the house, the tops, the bottles and the glasses correct, I fell in the sink.
