The secret of eternal youth

I think I have discovered the secret of younger looking skin,

.

It isn't anything advertised by Eve Cameron talking about something called pentapeptides and there's no need for expensive botulism inspired injections.

If you're in your late twenties, suffering from general low self esteem and getting worry lines about the housing market and negative equity, then I have just the solution to perk you up.

Go to the supermarket and try to buy a couple of bottles of booze.

No, I'm not advocating binge drinking. Just attempting to make the purchase will have people asking if you can prove you're over 18.

I was delighted. I looked about as rough as I can get, and believe me that's pretty flipping rough.

I had spent a very productive Saturday playing Batman Arkham Asylum for six hours on the Playstation, was dressed in my scruffiest jeans, a hoody, hadn't washed my hair and hadn't shaved.

There were bags under my eyes heavier than Jordan's make up and fake tan kit and to my shame I was buying plenty of very grown up items not normally purchased by your average teenage tearaway – stilton cheese, coriander leaves and brioche.

So I wasn't exactly looking like a teenager.

The lady behind the checkout asked me for ID. That hasn't happened to me since before I was legally old enough to be buying booze. When I was 17 there was a real thrill about trying to get served. That first pint tasted so much better because I'd worked for it, I'd sweated, panicked and lied to get it.

The minute I turned 18 and was legally allowed to get beer no-one ever asked me. My face obviously looked too confident and self assured.

Friends who were still being IDd at 20 were absolutely mortified about their baby looks.

So at 28 I absolutely loved that trip down memory lane. What a confidence boost, I look 10 years younger.

Alas it turns out the supermarkets are now adopting an extreme Challenge 25 policy meaning if you look under 25 you have to prove you are at least 18.

It seems teenagers are looking older than ever and are now able to look almost a decade older than they actually are.

That's really rather depressing. What on Earth are their parents feeding their children that is aging them that fast, Polonium 210?

Whatever it is, keep it away from me. Getting IDd was the best thing that could have happened to me that day, which just goes to show how wasted most of my free time is.