Goodbye Darryl, our son the hero

Tomorrow, mourners will gather in Stafford for the funeral of Darryl Gardiner, the first British soldier to be killed in Afghanistan this year. Tony Raba talks to his heartbroken mother.

Corporal Darryl 'Daz' Gardiner died saving a comrade.

He was the first British soldier to be killed in Afghanistan in 2008 and tomorrow his family will be joined by hundreds of mourners, including fellow soldiers, to pay tribute at a special service at St Mary's Church in Stafford.

Cpl Gardiner, a keen sky diver and instructor, was a member of the Royal Electrical and Mechanical Engineers, attached to the 5th Regiment Royal Artillery and 52 Brigade's Reconnaissance Force. On January 20 he was just two kilometres from Musa Quala – a town he helped liberate from the Taliban just before Christmas – when a vehicle from his unit was hit by a mine.

Cpl Gardiner, aged 25, drove to the troops' rescue, picked up a badly wounded soldier and was ferrying him toxwards a waiting helicopter.

He got to within 100 yards, then a mine went off under his Pinzgauer vehicle and he was killed instantly.

His brother Paul, who serves with the RAF, says: "The soldier was in a lot of pain and Darryl was reassuring him, telling him 'you're going to be fine. Its OK we're nearly there' keeping his spirits up.

"They were about 100 yards short of the helicopter when a mine went off. Darryl died straight away, which is of some comfort.

"The word hero is bandied around a lot but my brother was a genuine hero. He was helping others when he died."

The injured soldier survived and is now back in Britain in hospital.

Cpl Gardiner's mother, Sharon Ross, says the whole family is "deeply proud" that Cpl Gardiner had served and given his life for his country.

She spoke to Darryl just a few days before his death and says he sounded tired and strained as he told her about his job in Afghanistan.

"It was at night and everyone else was out," she says. "He said he was just back in Bastion, the main British base in Helmand.

"There was something different in his voice. He was telling me about their efforts to win the hearts and minds of the local people.

"He said: 'Mum, you should see how they live, they've got nothing. You should see the children. We're here to help them and we're making a difference, a real difference. Not everyone likes us, but a lot of people do and we've got to support them'."

Sharon says there was emotion in her son's voice, which was unusual.

She goes on to describe the late night knock on the door a few days later – and the Army Captain standing on the doorstep.

"My heart was racing. I was probably hysterical. I said 'just tell me, just tell me, just tell me'. But I already knew."

Cpl Gardiner lived in Wiltshire with his partner Lucy, a community mental health nurse. They had lived together for three years and she recalled his last phone call, just hours before his death.

"It was 2am," she says. "He said 'Babe, sorry. I had to call, I'm having a really bad day and I needed to speak to you'." It was 6.30am in Afghanistan. "He had coats wrapped around his head and feet, he was inside two sleeping bags, it was snowing and he was in the middle of nowhere.

"He was missing the things everyone takes for granted. He said 'I want a night in a bed, I'd like a shower.'

"He said he'd call me later. That call never came."

Daryl and Lucy were planning to get married and had spoken about having children. "We knew our future was together," said Lucy.

Brother Paul summed the emotion running through the family: "You cry until you can't cry any more. Now we just talk about him, remembering stories of the three of us, myself, Darryl and our sister Laura growing up together. "My little brother was out there doing his duty, making a real difference to people's lives. We're so proud of him."

Mum adds: "I could shout and scream but I don't. It won't get me back what I want. I want my son back. I told him 'be careful, keep your head down, don't be Rambo'. But that wasn't his way."

His father, Mark, speaking from his home in Exeter, adds: "He was very well liked and he could talk to anyone whether it was a high ranking officer or just someone in the street.

"Since it happened, we have heard from his peers and former officer in command and they've all said Darryl was confident and mature beyond his years. He was destined to go places in the Army or in the forces generally."

Cpl Gardiner's funeral takes place at 1.15pm tomorrow at St Mary's Collegiate Church, followed by cremation. Paul and Cpl Gardiner's best friend Reg will scatter his ashes during a free fall jump at Netheravon, Wiltshire, where he did most of his parachuting.