Dan Morris: Our one-liner legacy as we shoot for the stars
When once asked what he thought of western civilisation, the great Mahatma Gandhi was reported to have replied: “I think it would be a good idea."
It's a delicious quote, and one among a pantheon of diamonds us journalists often delve into.
Naturally, when looking for inspirational, poignant, and, indeed, hilarious rhetoric, we are also inevitably drawn to that rich vein of delectable quotes-to-be-mined that was Sir Winston Churchill. Sir Winston is famed, among many things, for his rebuttals to famed sparring partner Lady Astor.
Reportedly, she once declared to the dour statesman: “If I were married to you, sir, I’d put poison in your coffee.” Churchill's splendid reply was something to the ilk of: “Madam, if I were married to you, I should drink it.”
While it is nigh-on impossible not to fall in love with the wicked wit of Britain's greatest ever leader, these days I find myself drawn much more to the 24-carat gems delivered by one of his later public life contemporaries - our late Duke of Edinburgh.
A man known for his disdain of subtlety, political correctness and general observance of propriety, the Duke was once known to have delivered one of his famous clock-stoppers at the customs counter of an Australian airport.
Before his admittance to the veritable 'land down under', the diligent officer at the desk enquired, obligatorily, as to whether His Royal Highness had a criminal record. "Good Lord," was his reply. "I didn't know it was still a bloody requirement!"
Yet while the above are always handy to have in your locker while gracing your local's beer garden, my all-time favourite quote is pulled from a more distant - and, frankly, more enlightened - age of the world.
Painter, mathematician, and general troubadour, Leonardo da Vinci, was once reported to have waxed lyrical about man taking wing. In a particularly philosophical moment, the Italian polymath is said to have proclaimed: "When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the Earth with your eyes turned skyward. For there you have been, and there you will always long to return."
Dreamy and romantic as his so-called declaration was, the truly spell-binding thing about this quote is that it was issued at least 264 years before man first reached for the heavens via hot-air balloon, and 384 years before the Wright brothers took to the skies in a plane.
What did he know? And, more importantly, what do the rest of us still not?
We’re now, of course, in an incredibly exciting age of history - one where man’s reach in fact goes beyond the sky and to the stars. As The Tech Boys continue their glorious push in wanting to put Joe Public into the cosmos, I wonder if any of them will ever grace us with anything as profound as Leonardo.
I’m sure Mr Musk will have a suitably strong and stirring follow-up to “I think it is possible for ordinary people to choose to be extraordinary” planned.
Space exploration and the mysteries of the universe have, naturally, been a source of man’s most delectable one-liners for centuries. Russian rocket scientist and pioneer of space flight, Konstantin Tsiolkovsky (1857 – 1935) captured humanity’s insatiable desire to chart the final frontier beautifully with "Earth is the cradle of humanity, but one cannot live in a cradle forever”.
JFK summed things up a little more bluntly with “the exploration of space will go ahead, and it is one of the great adventures of all time”. And astronomer Sir Fred Hoyle added a charming, light-hearted and encouraging perspective with "space isn't remote at all. It's only an hour's drive away if your car could go straight upwards”.
Perhaps one day my grandchildren will be able to do this in a Tesla…
Were I or any of my kin ever to journey into the stars, I wonder what we might add to the great astral quote legacy. I’ve often joked(ish) about my daughter taking me on a commercial space flight as a retirement present or a treat for my 75th birthday. Fingers crossed by then there’ll be an economy option, or at least a few coupon days run by Bezos and Co.
I’d love to think that this would be the moment when I make my definitive contribution to the storied world of one-liners - hopefully channelling the humour of the Duke, the cutting cunning of Sir Winston and the ethereal majesty of Mr da Vinci.
However, chances are, alas, much more likely that I’ll ape Cerys Matthews à la her once-time duet with Tom Jones: “Bloody freezing, innit!”
