Carol Decker row . . . what a pantomime!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PSh6SQd8UrI

The festive season has started and that means one thing and one thing alone: pantomime season, writes Wolverhampton Civic Hall's Jonn Penney.

He's behind you," "Oh no he isn't." "Oh yes he is." "Why don't we just throw some sweets into the crowd and have done with it?" "Hurrah."

Although many of the region's pantos won't start until the next week, we may already have found the nation's pantomime dame.

Take That frontman Gary Barlow found himself cast in the role of national villain-in-chief when he dared to diss Carol Decker on ITV's X Factor.

Now, don't for one minute imagine I'm a fan of Barlow's oeuvre, nor, for that matter, of Decker's. But while the former Shropshire singer and star of T'Pau was quietly tending her chickens at home last weekend, she found herself at the centre of a very British tabloid row.

This, in a nutshell, is what happened: An X Factor wannabe sang Decker's number one hit, China In Your Hand, reasonably well.

Barlow told the wannabe she was better than Decker - check out the original in the video above and see what you think - she swore at him on Twitter and the nation's hacks went into overdrive, creating a story that ran and ran.

One minute Decker was tending her chickens at her Oxfordshire home, the next she was hiding in the hen house as the tabloids doorstepped her.

Of course, the one-time Shrewsbury singer was laughing all the way to the bank as she totted up the royalty cheques after fans propelled her hit back into the chart. Their stated aim was simple: Secure T'Pau the Christmas Number One slot to teach Barlow a lesson.

The tale had all the essential ingredients of a panto: Decker was cast as the downtrodden hero, Barlow as the villain – Decker overcame her ill fortune to emerge triumphant. Poor ol' Gazza even Tweeted Decker an apology.

But I digress. Back in the real world, the week is hotting up with plenty of action at local venues. December is the busiest month for performers with fans hoping to see them live in the run-in to Christmas.

This week brings a mixed bag, with everyone from Jedward to Chris de Burgh and The Saturdays playing. But, being the West Midlands, rock inevitably dominates, with Quofest, Machine Head, Whitesnake, Def Leppard and Motley Crue among the headliners.

Birmingham's Duran Duran are due in town too, though a lesser-known band who caught my eye are Wolverhampton's The Lines, who headline the biggest gig of their lives tomorrow. The local heroes count rock legend Robert Plant among their fans, which is more than a good enough recommendation for me. They've been working hard in recent years to build a strong local following and they'll get to enjoy the fruits of that success at the Wulfrun Hall.

The Wulfrun is a venue that my own band, Ned's Atomic Dustbin, have enjoyed playing down the years. It has an incredible atmosphere – having played all around the world I can say with all honesty that there are no better or more partisan fans that the ones right here.

That's the reason why plenty of bands make the Wolves Civic, or Wulfrun, the number one venue when they're planning a tour. The Lines can look forward to double enjoyment, given that it's a hometown gig. Catch them while you can: The Lines will be making bigger headlines pretty soon.