Jimmy Carr's top one-liners
To mark Jimmy Carr's forthcoming appearance at the Civic as part of his Repeat Offender tour, we've unearthed 10 of his most chuckle-worthy, if slightly controversial, gags.
Jimmy Carr's prolific career has already seen him scoop awards for Best Stand-Up Tour, Funniest Man and Best Game Show for Distraction, as well as slots in scores of hit TV shows including 8 out of 10 Cats and the Big Fat Quiz of the Year.
As comedy's undisputed king of the one-liner, Carr gets set to bring his distinctive brand of deadpan mirth to Wolverhampton's Civic Hall on 16th March.
To mark the occasion, we've put together some of the fans' favourites gags from his repertoire (not for the faint hearted!)
"I grew up in Slough in the 1970s. If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s, go there now."
"I realised I was dyslexic when I went to a toga party dressed as a goat"
"No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea, you never get that tea."
"A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said: "Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?" I said: "All right, but we're not going to get much done."
"I went up to the airport information desk. I said "How many airports are there in the world?"
"Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation."
"When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in Mexico last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton."
"My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her. So I said: "All right, fatty."
"My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen."
"A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. So be careful at the next office Christmas party."
