The future of legal aid

AFTER last week's tale of the American family trapped in their bedroom by an angry moggie, a reader suggests it may be time to replace their National Anthem, and its heroic words about "The Land of the Free and the home of the Brave," with that timorous lament by the canary: "I Tawt I Taw a Puddy Tat."

STILL in the States, marchers at today's St Patrick's Day parade in New York will be allowed to carry banners declaring: "England get out of Ireland." I wonder how many of them can find either England or Ireland on the map.

SOME Labour MPs have attacked Ed Miliband for his "shoddy compromise" over a referendum on an EU rferendum. First they enter politics. Then they complain about shoddy compromises. It's like a butcher complaining about all those dead animals.

"THE most momentous modern invention of modern times," is how veteran commentator Stephen Glover describes the internet. I bet the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki disagree.

MORE industrial action is expected from lawyers protesting at cuts to the Legal Aid budget. They claim that fewer barristers and solicitors in court will result in more miscarriages of justice. If I raise an eyebrow it is because, like most proper journalists, I spent years covering court cases and witnessing the grass-roots effects of legal aid which began as a well-intentioned community chest to bring justice for all. What it created is a system where most people do not qualify for legal aid and cannot afford the ruinous expense of a decent barrister. The criminal underclass, prison inmates and bogus asylum seekers, on the other hand, are showered with millions. Some criminal families have been using legal aid for generations. They have, in effect, their own private legal firms. Some crooks will even decide which partner represents them in court. As for miscarriages of justice, just think of some of the horror stories of the past, including the Guildford Four and the Birmingham Six. All the major miscarriages of justice in recent years have happened in courts absolutely stuffed with highly trained, and highly paid, solicitors, barristers and QCs. With watchdogs like these, etc . . .

IT is a well-known fact that 87.5 per cent of all statistics are made up. Certainly as the demonisation of sugar gathers pace, almost anything will be believed. For example, a single box of cinema popcorn contains 35 teaspoons of sugar. And a single teaspoon of salt contains 5lbs of sugar. One of these statements is untrue.

STILL on diet. After last week's warning that a high-protein diet is as dangerous as smoking, Big Issue magazine offers a solution. Electronic bacon sandwiches.

OF course, we would like to see the "private" letters sent by the Prince of Wales to government ministers which have been kept under wraps by the Attorney General. But I bet we are far more interested in seeing the correspondence between Tony Blair and George W Bush before the invasion of Iraq in 2003, still secret 11 years on. Charles may be a bit of a meddler but he never started any wars.

SO farewell, Tony Benn. His life is a reminder that you can spend your whole career being wrong, unpopular and falling out with your comrades but if you live long enough and keep talking and writing, you will eventually be regarded as wise.