Peter Rhodes: Perfect perfection

AS the food industry comes under yet more pressure to reduce sugar levels, I am reminded of that childhood treat of yore, the well-buttered banana-and-sugar sandwich. It was even better without the banana, wasn't it?

BEING mugged is traumatic and our hearts go out to Jeremy Corbyn's 23-year-old son Tommy whose mobile phone was snatched by a thief on a moped. But I doubt if many share Tommy's view that "I'm sure the guy who did it was more desperate than bad." Behold, the enduring woolly-left belief that all crime is the result of society's inequalities or government policy and all criminals are to be pitied. The truth is that some people are plain wicked.

BY coincidence, as Tommy Corbyn was empathising with his mugger, two other motorbike-riding phone thieves were being jailed in London. They had snatched 18 mobiles in a single day. Using the Corbyn analysis, they were presumably 18 times more desperate than Tommy's attacker and 18 times more to be pitied. Or maybe they were just a pair of thugs out to make money without doing any work.

A TEAM of British scientists has created a sieve capable of turning sea water into fresh drinking water. Based on the wonder material graphene, the sieve will undergo trials to see how effective it is. Already, there is talk of an end to worldwide droughts, prosperity for the developing world and deserts turned into lush, blooming breadbaskets, consigning famine to history. However, some of us of a certain age will be thinking: Tomorrow's World. Remember it? It was the BBC science series, launched in 1965, which introduced viewers to a succession of breakthroughs and inventions which were allegedly going to transform the planet. Maybe some did but the abiding memory is of Tomorrow's World being a sort of Sargasso Sea from which bright ideas never reappeared. Moral: some concepts simply never make it from theory to practice. Today, a dazzling British invention is poised to transform our planet. Again.

THE National Trust was accused of airbrushing Easter out of its "Cadbury Egg Hunt" promotion. After complaints, the E-word has now been added to the trust's website. On the same day as this story broke, I was in our corner shop when the Easter egg delivery man, carrying dozens of cartons, tripped and dropped the lot. I think it's best to airbrush his comments from the sacred festival.

A BRITISH Airways plane was stuck on the runway at Los Angeles for 90 minutes. An 87-year-old woman passenger pleaded to be allowed to use the toilet but was refused. She wet herself and was obliged to sit in wet clothes for the 13-hour flight. The response from BA is that staff were following Civil Aviation rules. Really? Let me refer these jobsworths to a higher authority, common to all religions, that you should treat others as you would have them treat you or, in this case, your mother.

CELEBRATING her golden wedding, Mary Berry prepared a perfect banquet of perfect plump king prawns, perfectly pink lamb and a perfect cream cake glazed with mirror-perfect chocolate icing. It was all so relentlessly perfect. I found myself hoping to see her hubby Paul hiding in his shed with a bucket of KFC.