Oh, the gravity of the situation . . .

I find myself curiously drawn again to the Metropolitan Police self-assessment form to identify hazards, those 238 little boxes that must be ticked before officers are sent into any situation looking vaguely dangerous, writes Peter Rhodes.

The boxes for wet floors, fast driving and public order I can understand.

But right in the middle of the form is the tick box for "gravity."

"Sorry, chief inspector. I would have been a brave copper but there was all this gravity . . . "