Coalition marriage faces first real test

As Chancellor George Osborne rose to address the Commons this afternoon, with bad news for princes, policemen and politicians alike, he looked like a conjurer whose best trick has been given away by his assistant, writes Peter Rhodes.

Blame Danny Alexander, the Lib-Dem Chief Secretary to the Treasury, who really should have spoken to Bob Quick.

Quick is the top counter-terrorism officer who was photographed last year carelessly carrying an open document revealing details of anti- terrorism raids. He promptly quit.

Eighteen months on, Alexander who bears a passing resemblance to the Muppet character Beaker, was snapped reading a confidential document which suggests 490,000 public-sector workers could lose their jobs under today's spending review.

On The Muppet Show, Beaker is a disaster-magnet. Danny Alexander seems to have the same unsafe pair of hands. The Chancellor's secret was out, the magician's trick blown.

We know the Fated 490,000 are going to vanish, George - Danny told us. The only mystery is, where are you going to hide them? Up your sleeve?

Osborne gave us a brisk, fluent performance, rattling through a script which was clearly based on the theme of "we're all in it together."

So £55 million of cuts in the Cabinet Office came almost in the same breath as a 14 per cent cut in the cost of running the Royals, followed by £2 billion extra on social care.

He received a fair hearing, apart from Labour growls of alarm when he unveiled that controversial four per cent annual cut in police budgets, and again when he invoked the word "fairness."

There was a terrible, tangible silence in the House when he hinted at the end of gold-plated pensions for MPs but applause when he announced £1.5 billion compensation for Equitable Life victims.

Today's review followed a sparky Prime Minister's Questions, the second encounter between Ed Miliband and David Cameron.

The Leader of the Opposition set out to embarrass the Government with a quote from Justice Secretary Ken Clarke who has warned of a double-dip recession.

But Mr Miliband had not used Mr Clarke's quote in full and as the PM twice invited him to read it fully, the young Labour leader looked awkward and wrong-footed.

He tried too hard to pin down the PM on technical, hypothetical questions about the future of the economy instead of landing simple punches on simple issues.

But of course, the Commons is not the only venue in town.

Interviewed by the BBC today, Ed Miliband indulged in the greatest joy of being in Opposition, proposing a plan to "reduce the deficit while protecting jobs and growth" without having to explain how this miraculous scheme would work.

Ed Miliband reminded us: "People will be very fearful about what is being announced today, fearful for their jobs."

Was he thinking, perhaps of the job currently filled by the Beaker of the Coalition?

Danny Alexander, who sat glumly beside the Chancellor during this afternoon's statement, won his Inverness seat as a Liberal Democrat on a platform of soft green Lib-Dem policies. Now by the vagaries of politics, he's implementing Tory cuts.

For better or worse, the Tories and Lib-Dem are married.

How fitting that today's cuts came on the same day as the UK Supreme Court ruled that pre-nuptial agreements are binding.

George Osborne sat down and Alan Johnson stood up to respond. This, remember, is the old Labour warhorse who said when he was appointed Shadow Chancellor a few weeks ago that he knew little about economics.

But what a blistering performance this was as he swept into a passionate, lyrical and utterly assured demolition of the spending review. Ed Miliband watched wide-eyed. And how many Labour MPs were wondering whether they had elected the right man? This afternoon, on top form in the Commons, Alan Johnson looked like the best leader Labour never had.